(Image: Greyerbaby) Have you ever felt this way before? That nobody loves you? If so, you're not alone. I've felt that nobody loves me before, and in fact felt this way during many of my down moments in the past, such as times when I felt neglected or pushed aside. It was only lately that I learned to break out of this thinking pattern, and today I want to share how you can do so too. In this latest episode of The Personal Excellence Podcast, I share Why there have been a lack of updates lately (and my apologies about it!) [0:22] Why I would feel that nobody loves me [2:47] How I addressed this negative thinking pattern, and how you can too [4:49] Why it's not true that nobody loves you [5:26] Where true self-love should come from [10:48] Why celebrities face self-love issues despite having the love of millions of fans [12:23] What happens when you pursue a relationship for the sake of feeling loved [13:27] Getting to the root of why you think "nobody loves me" [15:31] My childhood experiences that led me to this belief [16:18] Times when I was bullied in school [20:29] How I resolved these negative memories [23:41] My gratitude to you guys [29:02] An exercise for you to dig into the belief "nobody loves me" [30:45] How to start building up your self-love [35:01] Why there is no dichotomy between self-love and personal growth [37:24] My reminder to you [38:46] Listen to this episode here: Listen via Web Listen via iTunes Listen via Spotify Listen via Stitcher Listen via Google Subscribe via RSS If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave a nice rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! Nobody Loves Me [Transcript] Celestine Chua: You're listening to The Personal Excellence Podcast, the show that's all about helping you be your best self and live your best life. I'm Celestine Chua, your host, and founder of PersonalExcellence.co. Let's get started! Welcome to The Personal Excellence Podcast Episode 17, I'm Celes from PersonalExcellence.co! First off, I want to apologize for the slow updates in the past months, if not year. For those of you who are not on the PE newsletter, do join -- it's at personalexcellence.co/newsletter. Even though there hasn't been much updates on the blog, I've been sending out email updates that are not posted on the blog. So maybe you don't see as many updates there but there have been emails sent out -- sometimes weekly, sometimes fortnightly, sometimes monthly. If you are on the newsletter, you'll get access to all of that including announcements of live courses that I'm running. All that said, I totally recognize that there has been a lack of updates on PE. A large part is because I've been busy working on things in my personal life. Things that I feel are important, that deserve my full attention, as opposed to repeatedly running in a rat wheel and working on things that are urgent but may not be as important. I felt that I needed to take time out to work on these things. But I want to let you know that I have not abandoned PE. Not at all. Those of you who are longtime readers will know that PE is my life. It is what I'll be doing for the rest of my life, and I've just been taking this temporary time out to work on personal things, personal issues, which I look forward to sharing more in time to come. I want you to know that I'm here to stay and I'm not going anywhere. :) Thank you for your positive reviews on Tunes -- reading them has really inspired me. In fact, I was thinking what new content to produce -- Should write a new article? Create a new podcast? Or create a new video? -- and reading all your podcast reviews have inspired me to return to the podcast and talk to you guys again. Today's Episode: Nobody Loves Me On to today's episode, about "Nobody loves me.

The Personal Excellence Podcast | Be your best self, Live your best life

Nobody Loves Me

In today's world, it is so easy to be busy rather than being productive. That's because we have so many notifications, alerts, to-dos, things screaming for attention. Oftentimes, when we are not aware, we could simply spend an entire day just doing things, rushing from place to place, clearing item after item. But these may not be the most impactful things that move us towards our goals. So how can we focus on the impactful and make the most of our days? In this episode of The Personal Excellence Podcast, I share 6 tips to be productive, not busy Why you should not start your day with chat [1:25] How to separate communication between inner circle loved ones and others [4:50] Why I turn off alerts and notifications [8:21] How to deal with incoming emails, alerts that you need to respond to [10:59] Starting your day with a priority to-do list [12:44] Why you shouldn't beat yourself up when you go off task [14:49] Using batching to group similar tasks [17:07] How to create your 80/20 to-do list [20:32] Using a "Will do" list to defer incoming tasks [20:32] The importance of delegating [21:59] Why delegating was my Achilles heel in the past [22:42] 3 factors I used to determine when to delegate [25:05] 5 questions to ask yourself in a weekly/bi-weekly audit [29:16] Asking ourselves WHY, WHAT, and HOW as we live consciously [30:20] Listen to this episode here: Listen via Web Listen via iTunes Listen via Spotify Listen via Stitcher Listen via Google Subscribe via RSS If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave a nice rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! How to be Productive, Not Busy [Transcript] Celestine Chua: You're listening to The Personal Excellence Podcast, the show that's all about helping you be your best self and live your best life. I'm Celestine Chua, your host, and founder of PersonalExcellence.co. Let's get started! Hey everyone. That is Celes from PersonalExcellence.co. Welcome back to the podcast! Today I want to talk about productivity -- specifically how to be productive, not busy. I feel that in today's world, it is so easy to be busy rather than to be productive. That's because we have so many notifications, alerts, to-dos, things screaming for attention. Oftentimes, when we are not aware, when we are not conscious of it, we could simply spend an entire day just doing things, rushing from place to place, clearing item after item. But these things may not be the most impactful things that help us move towards our goals. So today I want to share some simple tips, six tips in fact, on what we can do to focus on being productive rather than being busy. 1) Don't start your day with chat My first tip is don't start your day with chat. It is very instinctual to want to open your chat application in the morning and see who messaged you. Thinking, What do I have in my chat inbox? What messages do I have? It feels exciting because you are getting messages from people, people you care about, or new people you just met. Also, it is sometimes like a little gift, like each message is a little gift and someone has a special message for you and you want to see what's that. So I totally understand that. But unless it is an off day where you are not working, for your work days, I recommend not starting your day with chat because it can easily derail your day into a series of chat exchanges where chat is your main focus, as opposed to what you need to get done. This is especially true if you are an entrepreneur, you control your day, you control your routine, or if you are a freelancer. It is very easy to have your entire day derailed because of chat or even because you are looking at your social media news feed. You know, the social media platforms today. I shared in a previous episode on FOMO,

How to Be Productive, Not Busy

(Image: Lukas Neasi) Have you ever felt like you're alone sometimes? That you're facing life's struggles but you're going through so much pain alone? That no one seems to understand what you're going through? I totally hear you. Today, I just want to record a quick podcast to let you know that you're not alone. Listen to the episode below -  Listen to this episode here: Listen via Web Listen via iTunes Listen via Spotify Listen via Stitcher Listen via Google Subscribe via RSS If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave a nice rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! You're Not Alone [Transcript] Celestine Chua: You're listening to The Personal Excellence Podcast, the show that's all about helping you be your best self and live your best life. I'm Celestine Chua, your host, and founder of PersonalExcellence.co. Let's get started! Hey everyone, Celes here from PersonalExcellence.co. Today, I just want to record this podcast to let you know that... you're not alone. For some of you listening to this, maybe you're going through some kind of problem right now. Some kind of struggle, issue. Whatever it is that you're going through, I just want to do a shout-out and let you know that you're not alone. I know that life can be really sucky sometimes. Sometimes, we can be trying our best but we face obstacle after obstacle. Sometimes we may be dealing with problems that are so difficult that we wonder if there will ever be a way out. Sometimes it can be a tough struggle just getting through life itself. And whenever we are going through times like this, it can feel very isolating and very debilitating. If you're experiencing any struggle or pain right now, I just want let you know that you're not alone and I totally understand how you feel. I myself, I have been going through problems myself too. I shared a couple of episodes back on the work and business challenges that I had been facing in the past years. If you haven't listened to the episode, you can check it out here: Challenges that I’m Facing Today I also face life struggles as well. I find that the world today is a little bit of an alienating one for me. I find myself increasingly distanced from the way the world is today, the mass society I mean. Consumerism, all the mad chase for money as an end goal in itself. The pursuit of certain objectives without interest or care for the society and the universe at large — which I find somewhat depressing. I just feel a general alienation in terms of the person I am today, the kind of values that I want to uphold and follow, from the general values of the society that I'm living in, which is very much about materialism, self-driven pursuits, and blind conformism. So I do feel alone in that respect. I understand if you are going through health struggles or any kind of chronic issue or condition. I was going through a series of chronic, symptomatic health issues — and it's all okay now — but I was going through some symptomatic health issues in the past years (which I may write about in the future). The process of seeking help, trying to find a solution, trying to uncover what the heck is going wrong — it was a frustrating and a bit of an isolating one. Because I found that certain health care practitioners may not really care about you and what you are looking for, as much as it's more of a patchwork scenario, where they just want to cover up the symptom or fix the symptom (with unnecessary medication or medication that may cause other problems in the long term) as opposed to really uncovering the root issue. And I find this somewhat common in today's Western healthcare. So whatever it is that you're going through... Work. Health. Relationship. Life issues. General struggles. Pain. Frustration. Financial worries. Financial struggles.

You’re not alone

FOMO — or the fear of missing out — has become a pattern in today's world. We are constantly on our phones, glued to social media feeds and checking what other people are up to. The more updates we see, the more anxious we feel. We see people living this exciting life, achieving this new milestone, doing that exciting activity. We feel like we are missing out, that we are not living a good enough life, and we have a compulsion to keep up. So we keep up... buying, keeping up, and absorbing as much information and updates as we can. And this addresses our anxiety... or does it? Can you relate? Well, today's episode is just for you. :) In this episode of The Personal Excellence Podcast, I cover What is FOMO [0:29] Signs of FOMO [1:27] 4 reasons why FOMO exists [4:39] 5 strategies to tackle FOMO [15:06] Listen to this episode here: Listen via Web Listen via iTunes Listen via Spotify Listen via Stitcher Listen via Google Subscribe via RSS If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave a nice rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! Fear of Missing Out [Transcript] Celestine Chua: You're listening to The Personal Excellence Podcast, the show that's all about helping you be your best self and live your best life. I'm Celestine Chua, your host and founder of PersonalExcellence.co. Let's get started! Hey everybody. Welcome to The Personal Excellence Podcast! This is Celestine Chua from PersonalExcellence.co. Today we're talking about the fear of missing out, otherwise known as FOMO. Have you heard the term FOMO before? I'm sure some of you have. But if you haven't, FOMO refers to the apprehension that one is not in the know, or one is out of touch with some event, experience, or interaction. This compels the person to constantly want to know what's going on, what's happening out there, and whether they're missing out on something. In today's world, FOMO exists on some level in many of our social media habits and online behavior — even if you don't realize it. This is why I want to discuss this topic today because I feel that FOMO has become such a prevalent issue. Some Signs You Have FOMO Some signs of having FOMO include Continually refreshing your social media newsfeed to see what's going on, what's the latest update, and the new things that people are discussing right now. Feeling the need to know what so-and-so people are doing. This can include the people in your social network. It can also include the people you don't know, such as celebrities or famous people. The constant feeling that you're not satisfied with your life, and because of that you keep looking outward at what others are doing. Feeling that perhaps you are not doing enough. So as opposed to enjoying your time right now with the people you are with and the life you have right now, you are constantly checking and seeing what others are up to, because you feel that otherwise, you may be missing out. Why FOMO is Unique to Our Era I feel that FOMO is a phenomenon that's unique to our digital era. FOMO as a term was coined in 2003 and it was added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2013. That's just a few years ago. So why is FOMO unique to our era? Imagine in the past, way before the internet was invented. Say it's a Friday night and you just finished work. What do you do? Perhaps you would read a book. Perhaps you would do some simple activities. Maybe you like to knit so you knit. Maybe you watch a video of your favorite movie. Or you have a quiet conversation with a loved one. So you do that and you sleep. And you could be feeling pretty satisfied with your Friday night, doing something that you like. Nowadays, everybody is connected. You can see what anybody is doing and everyone's updates. With the Internet today, typically what happens is this: It's Friday ni...

How Social Media Creates a Fear of Missing Out (And What To Do About It)

Hi everyone! Today I thought I'd do something different and share some of the challenges I've been facing in my business. I just want to share some of the things that have been weighing me down, and why I haven't been sharing as much on the blog in the recent years. In this episode, I cover Key challenges that I've been facing [1:01] My solutions to tackle them [15:37] Listen to this episode here: Listen via Web Listen via iTunes Listen via Spotify Listen via Stitcher Listen via Google Subscribe via RSS If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave a nice rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! Challenges that I'm Facing Today [Transcript] Celestine Chua: You're listening to The Personal Excellence Podcast, the show that's all about helping you be your best self and live your best life. I'm Celestine Chua, your host and founder of PersonalExcellence.co. Let's get started! Hey everybody! Welcome back to The Personal Excellence Podcast. So today I thought I would do a different type of topic. Usually, I cover a topic on personal growth and I share tips on that. Today I thought I would do some personal sharing, and I'd like to talk about some of the challenges I've been facing in my business. I thought it would be good to share some of the things that have been weighing me down. I did feel that I haven't been able to do deep personal sharing on my site for maybe at least the past couple of years. As you listen, perhaps you may understand why. Challenges I've Been Facing #1. Feeling that my work doesn't matter The first challenge that I've been facing, and I think some of you guys may have noticed this, is that the web is so cluttered today. There are just so many, you know, businesses? It's cluttered in a very commercial way, and I guess this is what happens when the main driving point of a society, the main agent that people need to work towards, is money. I'm not trying to build any negativity around money because I think money is important and it is a good neutral tool for us to objectify value. I'm not of the camp of people who go, "Money is evil," but I also don't see money as the "end all and be all" of life, or that it accurately indicates the value that people are giving to the world. Money as a tool definitely has its issues. So when the main agent that people work for in the world is money, naturally when you have a clean starting ground (such as the internet in the 1990s), it will get dominated by very commercialized activities after some time. And oftentimes it reaches a tipping point, and beyond that point, you get diminishing returns. So I started PE in 2008, and way before that I started my first website in 1998. The Web was in its infancy with very very few people online. I've seen the internet and how it has evolved in the past two decades. Today, the internet is hugely commercialized — almost everything is linked to paying or buying or money. Advertisements are everywhere. While everything has its role and its place, I do feel that the internet today is extremely cluttered with businesses for every single thing, along with "me-too" businesses. It's gotten to the point where there are so many life coaches and coaches online now, that sometimes I do wonder, Oh okay. Err. So where do I fit in? And how does my work matter? When I started PE in 2008, the reason I started it in the form of a life coaching business online was because there wasn't necessarily something like this. At that point, yes, the industry was already competitive. There were many personal development blogs. But I felt there was space for me to add unique value after assessing the landscape. Now it's 2018. If I were to start everything from scratch with no legacy of my work in the past 10 years, based on how the landscape is today,

Challenges that I’m Facing Today

(Image: Hannah Donze) Do you tend to compare yourself to others? Do you constantly feel pressured to conform to certain standards, to fit yourself in a perfect mold as told by society? Today's episode is about our unique path in life. Click below to listen! :) Starting from this episode, I'll be adding transcripts that you can find below each episode. Today's transcript can be found below. What do you guys think? Do you listen to the audio or only read the transcript? Let me know via the contact form. Listen to this episode here: Listen via Web Listen via iTunes Listen via Spotify Listen via Stitcher Listen via Google Subscribe via RSS If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave a nice rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! Our Unique Path in Life [Transcript] Hey everyone! Welcome to the Personal Excellence Podcast Episode 12! I'm Celestine Chua from PersonalExcellence.co. First off, I'd like to apologize for the intermittent uploads for the podcast, and even the YouTube channel. A big reason is that I've just been struggling to find a stable and a quiet place to record my audio podcasts and YouTube videos. That's why you can see that I haven't been doing any video for the past two years. And the podcast... yeah. I've also been really slow in the updates. In the meantime, I'm just trying to find opportunities where I can record new podcasts and speak to you guys. I really hope that in time to come, I'll be able to record more episodes on a regular basis. So currently I'm experimenting with a new podcast format. If you're an existing listener, you probably know that The PE Podcast episodes tend to be between 30 to 45 minutes long, with a series of tips on the topic itself. Now, the new podcast format that I am experimenting with consists more of short-form topics, and in each episode I'll be focusing on sharing one big idea. Let me know what you guys think at personalexcellence.co/contact/! I always love to hear your feedback! Today's topic is on our unique path in life. For all of us growing up in today's world, I'm sure you see comparisons abound all the time. There are comparisons with grades when you're in school... coming from teachers, parents, and even your friends, your schoolmates. Many people are often comparing grades, like who's got better grades, more achievements, etc. Then in life... you see people comparing things like the age people marry. This is very common in Asia. After you are married, there are comparisons in terms of the house, apartment you live in. After that, comparisons in terms of kids, who just had a kid, how many kids people have. Career-wise, too — like who got what job, how much someone is earning. So there are just these comparisons all the time. And it's really subtle too. Sometimes, it's not even obvious when the comparisons are being done. This is a phenomenon known as Keeping up with the Joneses, where there's this constant comparison with the person next to you. It could be our neighbors. It could be a comparison with your schoolmates, classmates, colleagues, friends, the people who grew up with you, or even people online. Online, everyone feels like they're just next to us. We have Facebook, Instagram, and all that, and we can see what people are doing in just one click. So it's increasingly easy to see what people are doing. With just a simple click, a simple message, a simple look, you can glance through people's timeline and immediately see what they have been up to. And obviously, most people would just put their highlights in life. These days, there are countless apps, software to edit and present this perfect image online. So more and more, we're faced with this perfect imagery of people's lives. This increases this pressure to compare and wonder, Okay, why am I not at this level?

Our Unique Path in Life

(Image: Nantawat Chotsuwan) Hey everyone! Last week, I asked you to send in your questions. Over the weekend, I compiled and answered YOUR awesome questions, including questions on confidence, decision making, enlightenment, and how to be a coach. In this episode of The Personal Excellence Podcast, I talk about How to know you're making progress when you're not seeing results [00:47] Using success easter eggs to track your progress [01:51] What to do if you're not getting any results at all [02:57] How to make a decision and avoid disappointing someone [04:30] How to know if you have reached enlightenment [06:57] My feeling of disillusionment in the past year [08:36] Your roadmap for your consciousness growth [09:56] How to be a coach — My tips for you [11:45] Why coaching courses are merely 0.01% of the equation to be a successful coach [13:08] How to be confident [16:06] The ONE thing that's most important in life - Career? Health? [19:45] How to be organized and the calendar system I use [22:02] Listen to this episode here: Listen via Web Listen via iTunes Listen via Spotify Listen via Stitcher Listen via Google Subscribe via RSS If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave a nice rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! How to Know When You’re Making Progress, Journey of Enlightenment, And More [Transcript] Welcome to The Personal Excellence Podcast. The show that's all about helping you be your best self and live your best life. Now, your host, Celestine Chua. Celestine Chua: Hey everyone! Welcome to the Personal Excellence Podcast Episode 11. This is Celestine Chua from PersonalExcellence.co. A few days ago, I sent out an e-mail via the newsletter asking you guys to send me your questions so I can answer them on the podcast. For those of you who are not on the newsletter, do join — it's at personalexcellence.co/newsletter/. I send updates and messages that I don't post on the blog. So, some of you guys have sent in your questions and I'm super excited to answer them. Well, let's get started! How to know if you are making progress "Greetings to you Celes. I want to ask: Sometimes I think I'm doing everything, more than I'm supposed to do to be successful. But it seems like things are not working well for me. My question is: For the goals that you are working towards, how do you know there's progress? How do you see progress in everything that you do? Thanks." — Anonymous This is an excellent question. So how do you know when you are making progress on something you are working on? I wrote a post before on the 21-day incubation period and I'm going to be sharing links to all these articles I'm talking about in the show notes, so you guys can click to read more. So I wrote this post before on the 21-day incubation period and essentially, for many of our goals, especially for large goals that take a long period to achieve, sometimes it can feel like we are putting in all this effort but we don't see any progress or results. We wonder: Are we on the right track or are we not? Is something happening? My recommendation is to know how to spot what I call "success easter eggs." That would be indicators telling you, "Hey, you're on the right track and you are doing things right. As long as you do more of this, you will reach the right place." What are the kinds of success easter eggs to look out for? It depends on your goal. You should set milestones and little check markers to let you know that you are moving to the right place. Say you want to start a business. Success easter eggs could be: You getting that first customer You getting positive feedback from the customers, the few customers you have served, telling you how great your service or your product was and how they would definitely recommend it to oth...

How to Know When You’re Making Progress, Journey of Enlightenment, And More

(Image: Torsten Scholz) Today's episode is one that you must listen if you have intentions to start your blog, online business, YouTube channel, or any online venture, be it now or in the future. After seeing all the "make money online" and "start your online business" hype, I decided to create this to share some of the realities of running an online business that many of the "gurs" do not talk about today, or at best scantly touch on as they paint a fancy picture of the riches and freedom to be gained online. This episode is longer than usual but that's because it's packed full of insider tips. In short, the online marketing / blogging / "start your online business" / "lifestyle design" circuit has become more like a Ponzi scheme, and I share many tips to put you on the right track. If you have no intentions of starting a blog / online business, this episode won't be relevant to you. But if you know anyone who is planning to enter the online arena, please share this with them. You will save them many months of pain, time wasted, and running around in circles. In this episode of The Personal Excellence Podcast, learn 5 harsh truths about blogging / starting your online business 6 tips for those of you who wish to start a blog / online business (or are already blogging) The saturation of the online space and what that means for you as a blogger / online business owner Why you should be skeptical about fancy claims about the online world, including supposed riches, quick traffic gains, and snazzy pictures of people seemingly earning good money The evolution of the web from 1990s to early 2000s, to mid-2000s and late 2000s, and to present stage 2010s  The real nature and setup of many successful internet businesses today that you don't see as a layman visitor The difference between "barriers to entry" and "barriers to success" online, and why you should be concerned with the latter The invisible "competitive edges" that online businesses today have (i.e. why it's naive or unrealistic to expect quick results online) The reality and nature of the technical work that will come as a result of running an online business—and how starting a simple blog is totally different from running a full-fledged online business A list of the many technical tasks that I do at PE every month (but aren't visible/obvious) The reality of online noise—negative comments and spam—and examples of the kind of noise I deal with (and examples of hate mail I receive, here and here) Underappreciation and the problem of being taken for granted as an online content creator Long-term vs. Short-term: my recommendation on the kind of mindset to adopt as you venture online My 3 tips for creating a solid plan for your online success Why you should be cautious about the online marketing / "make money online" / "start your online business" space, and my recommendations for free resources for blogging The importance of experimenting and doing lousy work vs. waiting Possible loneliness from running an online business and my tips for that Listen to this episode here: Listen via Web Listen via iTunes Listen via Spotify Listen via Stitcher Listen via Google Subscribe via RSS If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave a nice rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! Related Resources: Are You Looking for a Magic Bullet to Your Goals? Can Everyone Be Successful in Starting Their Business? How to Discover Your Life Purpose (series) How to Overcome Perfectionism (series) Skills Development The Day I Quit My Job to Pursue My Passion: 6 Things to Do Before You Quit Your Job How to Pursue Your Passion (series) Free, high-quality blogging resources. Check out and immerse in the free stuff first; don't jump into the paid stuff in this industry unless you...

5 Harsh Truths About Blogging (And 6 Tips to Start an Online Business)

(Image: Highland) Have you ever had moments when you wished you spoke up and asserted yourself, but you didn't? Do you feel difficulty asserting yourself sometimes? I feel this way too sometimes. In this episode of The Personal Excellence Podcast, learn 5 tips to build your courage to be assertive without being aggressive Why being assertive doesn't mean you stop being nice [02:21] Why being assertive is not the same as being aggressive [03:21] 2 key differences between being assertiveness and aggressiveness [4:08] The value of your voice [04:56] An incident where I got molested and didn't assert myself, and why I should have [05:54] 3 questions to ask yourself in determining whether to assert yourself [10:49] An alternate approach for people who assert too much [11:38] Why you shouldn't just "wait" when it comes to high-level career questions like promotion plan and salary rise [12:19] Dealing with a parent who keeps pushing their views on you [13:45] The face-saving culture and being sensitive to people's feelings when asserting [15:39] What I do when I have disruptive course participants [16:42] Using I-statements vs. You-statements [18:20] 3 differences between I-statements and You-statements, and why I-statements are better when it comes to asserting yourself or in conflicts [19:36] Example of I-statements in a conflict with your partner [22:00] Focus on the positive in conversations [23:52] How to talk to your boss if you're facing heavy workload [24:59] How to assert to a difficult co-worker [26:09] The importance of win-win and how to involve others [28:18] Listen to this episode here: Listen via Web Listen via iTunes Listen via Spotify Listen via Stitcher Listen via Google Subscribe via RSS If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave a nice rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! How to Be Assertive Without Being Aggressive [Transcript] Welcome to the Personal Excellence Podcast. The show that's all about helping you be your best self and live your best life. Now, your host, Celestine Chua. Celestine Chua: Hey everyone, welcome to The Personal Excellence Podcast Episode 9, this is Celestine Chua from PersonalExcellence.co. Today we have a question from reader Saim, who wants to know, how can you be more assertive and stay humble and polite at the same time? So let's hear from him first. Hi Celes, this is Saim from Pakistan. For the last 6 years, I've been working in Saudi Arabia in a multinational company. Some of my friends recommended me the Personal Excellence website and shared with me some free ebooks from PE. And then I logged on to the website, and I've been reading your articles, courses, so much stuff for the last 6 months. It's really quite interesting and I really appreciate that. It has been helping me excel in my job. The question I want to ask is, 'How to be assertive?' As a person, I'm humble and polite. But there are many situations in the workplace where we need to be assertive instead of being aggressive. I want to know and would appreciate if you can answer through the podcast in details on how to be assertive and techniques to do so. Hey Saim, thank you so much for your question. Unfortunately, the question got cut off because there is an audio limit for the clips. The good thing is we got to hear your question: How can you be assertive while still remaining humble and polite at the same time? So firstly, I just want to thank you for reading PE. And I want to thank your friends for recommending PE to you. Your support really means the world to me. Now I want to make two quick points before I jump into the tips. Fact #1: Being assertive doesn't mean you stop being nice The first thing is you mentioned that you're humble and polite, which is a great thing.

How to Be Assertive Without Being Aggressive

(Image: photosteve101) Having been blogging/writing for 8 years, I've experienced times when I have a "writer's block." You know, when you desperately want to write something, but nothing comes out? When everything you write feels like crap. When you are already behind deadline in your to-dos but your mind isn't cooperating. I feel you. In this episode of The Personal Excellence Podcast, I share 7 tips to break out of a writer's block and get into the flow of writing. :) These tips apply not just for writing, but any form of work that involves creation: drawing, composing, podcasting, video creation, entrepreneurship, software development, etc. Learn 7 tips to address writer's block The importance of your environment in writing/creating quality work [2:11] What to do when you have an article/topic that isn't working out [8:33] What to do when you're stuck when writing a chapter of a book [11:31] What "filling your tank" is and why you must always do it [14:20] What it means to have energy that is "murky" and how to have peak energy instead [15:55] The one sure way to stifle your creativity... yet everyone does it all the time! [19:00] Difference between (negative) comparison and benchmarking, and why the former is bad [20:44] Why 10-time Grammy Award Winner Adele's music is so hugely successful [24:50] How I wrote some of the most popular series at PE [27:34] How mega companies like Airbnb and Whatsapp got founded [30:46] The increasing noise online and what to do about it [34:56] Why you need to make creating easy [37:54] One thing that was blocking me from creating in the past year and how I tackled it [37:54] Addressing writer's block shouldn't be about "waiting for inspiration to strike" because inspiration may well never strike. By proactively modifying your environment, changing your mindset and changing your writing approach, you will find that prolific writing is something that can happen right away. This podcast will help you do that. :) Listen to this episode here: Listen via Web Listen via iTunes Listen via Spotify Listen via Stitcher Listen via Google Subscribe via RSS If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave a nice rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! How to Overcome Writer's Block [Transcript] Welcome to The Personal Excellence Podcast. The show that's all about helping you be your best self and live your best life. Now, your host, Celestine Chua. Celestine Chua: Hey everyone! Welcome to the Personal Excellence Podcast Episode 8. I'm Celestine Chua from PersonalExcellence.co. I hope you are having a fantastic day. I am actually back from Ubud, Bali. For those of you who have been reading PE, I was in Ubud for one month. Fantastic, amazing place. I shared about the whole place, my review, my travel, at PE and you can read my series at personalexcellence.co/blog/ubud/. Today I want to talk about writer's block. For some of you listening to this, perhaps you're a writer or you're a blogger, or you do some writing in your work, or maybe you just deal with creative output or content creation. Maybe you're a podcaster, or you create videos, you compose music, you draw, any kind of output. I thought it would be great to do a topic on this because I have been writing for eight years. I started my blog in 2008. Through these eight years, I'm by no means an expert, but through these eight years, I have been through times when I feel blocked in my writing. I know that it can be a very painful experience when you just want to create but you can't, and then you're stuck there, trying to get things going, to write something, but nothing's coming out. I want to share several tips today that have worked for me. I hope you'll find them useful. For these tips, I will largely use the example of writing but they ar...

How to Overcome Writer’s Block

(Image: Jason Howie) A palliative nurse who cared for dying patients in the last weeks of their lives took the liberty to record the most common regrets among them. Among these regrets were revealing statements like wishing they didn't work so hard, wishing they had the courage to express their feelings, and wishing they had stayed in touch with their friends. I believe people can get striking clarity and wisdom in the last moments of their death. In this episode of The Personal Excellence Podcast, I share the top 5 regrets of the dying, as identified by former palliative nurse Bronnie Ware, and my thoughts and pointers on how we can use this wisdom to better our lives. Regret #1: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me [02:26] Regret #2: I wish I didn’t work so hard [11:30] Regret #3: I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings [18:43] Regret #4: I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends [23:51] Regret #5: I wish that I had let myself be happier [27:56] Listen to this episode here: Listen via Web Listen via iTunes Listen via Spotify Listen via Stitcher Listen via Google Subscribe via RSS If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave a nice rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! Top 5 Regrets of the Dying [Transcript] Welcome to the Personal Excellence Podcast, the show that's all about helping you be your best self and live your best life. Now, your host, Celestine Chua. Celestine Chua: Hey everyone! Welcome to The Personal Excellence Podcast Episode 7. I'm Celestine Chua from PersonalExcellence.co. Today's episode is a different one. I want to talk about the top 5 regrets of the dying, a topic that's based on an article. Some of you may have read this before, because it's an article that went viral several years ago. The article is by Bronnie Ware, and she was a palliative nurse who cared for dying patients in the last weeks of their lives. She penned an article on the top 5 regrets of the dying because after all these years of just caring for patients who were going to past on, she noticed recurring trends in their thoughts, things they wished they did. This could be things like wishing they didn't work so hard, wishing they had the courage to express their feelings, and so on. I thought that this would be an insightful topic to talk about today because I believe people get clarity during the last moments of their lives. It puts things into perspective, like things they wished they did or things they wished they didn't do so much of. It is good to review these to understand what's on their minds, and also to use this as insight and wisdom to reflect on our lives and whether it's heading down the path we want. In today's podcast, I'm going to be reading snippets from Bronnie's article, covering the top five regrets of the dying, and sharing my thoughts and perspective on them. At the end of the podcast, I'll share the link to Bronnie's article so you can take a look for yourself. Regret #1: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me The first regret, "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." Bronnie says, "This was the most common regret of all when people realized that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it. It is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to the choices they had made or not made." I feel that this is probably something that — fortunately — is starting to fade, the whole notion of feeling that we need to live a life based on other's expectations. I do feel that it isn't so dominant in today's world compared to, say,

Top 5 Regrets of the Dying (and What To Do About Them)

(Image: Gunnar Pippel) Do you hate to say no? Do you often find yourself saying yes because you don't like to make others feel bad? Well, I do, and I can relate. I used to be terrible at saying no until I realized that continually saying "yes" was digging myself into a ditch and led me with little time for my personal goals and relationships. In this episode of The Personal Excellence Podcast, I share 6 tips to say no that I've been applying, along with personal examples: Tip #1: Know what you want to say yes to [00:57] Tip #2: Know that saying no is okay [04:43] Tip #3: Many little yeses to irrelevant things, or mildly relevant things, even if small, can deviate you from your main goal [08:26] Tip #4: Be honest about it [13:22] Tip #5: Give alternatives (if you like) [19:04] Tip #6: Do a life audit if you're getting a high noise signal [20:04] Listen to this episode here: Listen via Web Listen via iTunes Listen via Spotify Listen via Stitcher Listen via Google Subscribe via RSS If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave a nice rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! How to Say No [Transcript] Welcome to the Personal Excellence Podcast, the show that's all about helping you be your best self and live your best life. Now, your host, Celestine Chua. Celestine Chua: Hey everyone! Welcome to The Personal Excellence Podcast Episode 6. I'm Celestine Chua from PersonalExcellence.co. Today's topic really hits home for me. It's about how to say no. I don't know about you, but I used to be really bad at saying no. In a way I still am. But I've learned to be a lot better at it. If you are someone who has difficulty saying no, today I want to share with you six tips that have worked really well for me and I hope you'll find them helpful. 1) Know what is it you want to say yes to My tip number one is to know what you want to say yes to. For me, when I just focus on learning how to say no as an action in itself, it becomes a hollow quest. Because my default self is to help people. I like to agree to requests as much as I can. And I like to be there for other people. Obviously, this has its own implications. After countless situations where I just kept saying yes, yes, yes to every single person, request, and favor, I just didn't have any time for myself, for my goals. On the other hand, when I focus on the things that I want to say yes to, meaning my biggest goals and dreams, my Quadrant 2 projects, this helps me define this clear vision of the real big priorities in my life. Let's say I don't have this clear vision. Everything can simply be important. Yet, when framed into the context where we all have limited time on Earth, we all have certain ambitions to realize within our lifetime, then it becomes clear that we need to prioritize the things that we say yes to, and hence no to the other things. For me, what I want to say yes to would be PE. All of you guys. Growing it, creating more content for you guys, creating more great courses. Just being there for all of you, through my content. And of course, my loved ones, my family members. And my own personal growth and health. These would be the biggest rocks I wish to say yes to. So these priorities will never change. They will just be there, till the day I die. Knowing these key big rocks puts into context the things I should say yes to, and the things I should say no to. For example, let's say someone may be asking for a favor or pitching a proposal or an idea that is not a good fit for my business. Then letting it drag on will not help my Quadrant 2 goals, and in fact, waste the other person's time. It's clear that I need to say no to the distractions, the things that deviate me from my mission, as well as time for my loved ones, my personal health, and sanity.

How to Say No

(Image: lauren rushing) Do you have times when you feel lousy about yourself? Times when you hate yourself or just feel that you're just worthless? I have these moments, and if you do, I want you to know that you're not alone. More importantly, I want to share with you tips to deal with such debilitating moments of negative self-worth, so that you can gain strength to continue in your journey and not feel like you need to struggle by yourself.  In this episode of The Personal Excellence Podcast, I share 6 tips to deal with moments of negative self-worth: Tip #1: Forgive yourself [01:42] Tip #2: Everyone is struggling [04:27] Tip #3: Stop subjecting yourself to impossible standards [07:15] Tip #4: Do something that makes you happy [11:21] Tip #5: Identify trends in what's making you feel negative [15:24] Tip #6: Recognize you are complete [22:27] Listen to this episode here: Listen via Web Listen via iTunes Listen via Spotify Listen via Stitcher Listen via Google Subscribe via RSS If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave a nice rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! How to Deal With Moments of Negative Self-Worth [Transcript] Welcome to The Personal Excellence Podcast. The show that's all about helping you be your best self and live your best life. Now, your host, Celestine Chua. Celestine Chua: Hey everyone! I'm Celestine Chua from PersonalExcellence.co. Today's podcast is about how to deal with moments of negative self-worth. I don't know about you, but there are times when I deal with debilitating moments of negative self-worth. These moments may not be common, but there are times when they surface. During such moments, I just feel like I'm worthless, I'm doing a lousy, crappy job, or I just hate myself. I've found that such moments can happen when I feel like I'm not doing a good job, or I feel like I can be doing more, or bad incidences happen and I feel beat myself up over them. There are times when we feel down and out. I want to let you know that it's normal. It's okay. There's no need to feel ashamed of feeling this way. In today's episode, I want to share simple tips on how to deal with moments of negative self-worth and to feel better about yourself. 1) Forgive yourself My first tip is to forgive yourself. So, I'm not sure about you, but I have times when I fault myself for not doing things the best way, or not handling situations in a way that is in line with my 100 percent ideal definition. These don't have to be some serious incident but just very small little things that I'm sure nobody remembers or thinks about. But I would just think about them later on and think about how I could have handled something in a better way or dealt with one small thing in a better manner, that could have perhaps improved that overall situation. But I've learned that it's about forgiving myself. Forgiving myself for any shortfall vs. my expectations. Recognizing that whatever I did or didn't do, I've already done the best that I could within that situation, within that context. And it's about learning from the experience and working to be a better me. Perhaps for you that could be something you're faulting yourself for. And because of this, you feel these moments of negative self-worth. If that's the case, is it time to start forgiving yourself? Forgiving yourself for any shortfall. Recognizing that you have really done the best you could within the circumstance, within the situation. And to focus on learning from this experience and moving forward to be a better you. I know that forgiving yourself can be a tricky process especially if you're dealing with some deeply embedded experiences. This is where I encourage you to use my brain dumping exercise at personalexcellence.co/blog/brain-dumping/

How to Deal With Moments of Negative Self-Worth

(Image: Lana K) Have you ever wondered what would happen if you were to lose your parents one day? Do you feel scared at this thought? Reader Sumedha asks this question: "Lately, I'm getting too emotional over my fear of losing my parents. I just get stricken with a strong sense of guilt that I'm not doing anything back to them and I owe them a lot. I'm too attached to them and I can't help myself from feeling this way. I know they're doing a lot for me and I'm grateful for that but this feeling just gets too much. I'd really be thankful to you if you can help me get over this feeling. Thank you so much." How do you overcome the fear of losing your parents or your loved ones? Beyond burying our heads in work and miscellaneous distractions, and ignoring this sinking feeling of something that we don't wish to face, what can we do to tackle this fear? In this episode of The Personal Excellence Podcast, I share The nature of death [03:59] 2 key reasons why most people feel (heavy) guilt or fear of losing their loved ones [06:42] Reader Kimberly's loss of her dad and my advice to her [07:19] The eternity of our spirit [08:15] Carrying on your loved one's message after he/she has passed on [08:57] How to address the fear of losing loved ones [12:10] Loving our parents (and loved ones) start today [12:47] Showing love doesn't have to be materialistic [13:45] Lag time when you try to improve your relationship with your parents [14:33] We should not take life for granted [14:58] Create a list of things start loving and appreciating your parents (or loved ones) — starting today [16:21] Listen to this episode here: Listen via Web Listen via iTunes Listen via Spotify Listen via Stitcher Listen via Google Subscribe via RSS If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave a nice rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! I'm Scared of Losing My Parents. What Should I Do? [Transcript] Welcome to The Personal Excellence Podcast. The show that's all about helping you be your best self and live your best life. Now, your host, Celestine Chua. Celestine Chua: Hey everyone! Welcome to the Personal Excellence Podcast Episode 4. I'm Celestine Chua from PersonalExcellence.co. So thank you so much for listening today. I hope you are having a wonderful day. It's Wednesday here right now and I'm just looking forward to speaking to you guys. Today we have a question from Sumedha, who wants to know how to deal with the fear of losing our parents. Well, let's hear from her first. Hi Celestine, I'm Sumedha from India. I'm 17 years old. I've been reading articles for the past one year. I really find them genuinely useful as I can relate to most of what you faced in your life to my current scenario. My question today is lately, I'm getting too emotional on my fear of losing my parents one day. I just get stricken by a strong sense of guilt that I'm not doing anything to give back to them and I owe them a lot. I'm too attached to them and I just can't help myself get past this feeling and I end up digging it deep into my mind. I know they're doing a lot for me and I'm grateful to that. But this feeling just gets too much for me. So I would be really thankful to you if you can help me get over this feeling. Thank you so much. Hey Sumedha, thank you so much for your question. A very very heartfelt question and I really appreciate how open you are. Well, I want to say first that your question just speaks volumes about how much you love your parents and how filial you really are. Because I can hear this strong sense of emotions coming through as you were speaking just now. I totally understand the fear of losing your parents because for most of us, our parents raised us. They are and have been a big part of our lives. For some of us,

I’m Scared of Losing My Parents. What Should I Do?

(Image: John Gateley) Conventional goal-setting wisdom is to set a goal, create an action plan, and then pursue it. If you fail, revise your targets and try again. The problem comes when we face goals that can't be achieved, say due to societal limitations (e.g. you can never repeat senior year of high school with the same batch of classmates) or physical limitations (e.g. age limit to enter competitive swimming). Also, there are times when we don't progress in a goal despite multiple tries. So does that mean we have failed? This is where knowing the message of your goal is important. In this episode of The Personal Excellence Podcast, I share: What it means to know the message of your goal 3 reasons why knowing your message can be that difference between struggling and thriving, being miserable and being happy 4 goal scenarios of how to apply this concept — losing weight, building your blog/business, being a professional athlete/performer, and improving your relationship with your family — and how this can relate to you 3 questions to ask yourself in any goal pursuit Listen to this episode here: Listen via Web Listen via iTunes Listen via Spotify Listen via Stitcher Listen via Google Subscribe via RSS If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave a nice rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! What is the Message of Your Goal? [Transcript] Welcome to The Personal Excellence Podcast. The show that's all about helping you be your best self and live your best life. Now, your host, Celestine Chua. Celestine Chua: Hey everyone, welcome to The Personal Excellence Podcast Episode 3, I'm Celestine Chua from PersonalExcellence.co. I want to thank you for listening. We have over 4,000 downloads for the podcast so far which is amazing because we only have two episodes so far so including this is the third one. And we've just launched for a few weeks! So I'm so grateful to all of you for tuning in. I'm just looking forward to creating more great episodes for you. Let's get to today's podcast topic and this is a question that I want you to think about, which is: What is the message of your goal? What do I mean by this? I thought of this topic when I was reading a reader question on my Facebook a week ago. This reader was telling me about his aspiration and ambition — which I think is marvelous — to be a professional football player. He has been facing difficulties along the way and he wanted my advice on the situation. My advice to him was to think about the message behind his goal, which is what I want to talk about today. So let's talk about what I mean by "the message behind your goal." The Message of Your Goal Here, message means, for whatever is the goal you want to pursue, what is the reason that you want this goal? What is the intent that you want to make happen? For example, let's say I want to improve my relationship with my parents. I want to take them out on a vacation. The message here could be, "I want to better the relationship with them. I want them to be happy." So why is it important to discover your message? The first reason is, think of our goals as one expression of our message. So maybe you want to lose weight. Losing weight is the goal itself. But maybe your message is you want to have a healthier body, you want to live a longer life. So here, losing weight is merely one expression to be healthier. And by knowing this underlying message, you can think about all the other goals that can help you realize this message. The second reason is some of us get attached to our goals when it is our message we should be loyal to. Let's say we are facing some immense difficulty in our goal or we lose motivation in a particular goal. Maybe this goal just isn't compatible with us anymore. But when we are very focused on the goal,

What is the Message of Your Goal?

Hi, I'm Celestine Chua, founder of PersonalExcellence.co, one of the top personal development blogs in the world. The Personal Excellence Podcast is about how to live your best life in today's world. I share practical tips on personal growth in our fast-paced world today, covering topics from relationship to business to productivity to achieving happiness. Let's get started! :)

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