How often does the moon go around the Earth? Are bugs alright? How do I not cry at rude customers? When's the last time you had a good cry? What is the animal version of "humanity"? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Dear Hank & John

343: Raccoonanity

How do I house sit for 100 ducks? How do I move a tectonic plate? How do power lines explode balloons but not birds? Why are so many US products not available in Canada? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

342: Recovered Ancient Knowledge

What would happen if a day was a minute? What if an asteroid hit a volcano that was ready to erupt? Would a rocket and a bullet go through Jupiter's center? How many countries would Earth have if they were all the size of Vatican City? Would you tell anyone if you found oil on Mars? Could a person eat a whole cloud? Hank Green and Randall Munroe have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

341: Juice the Cloud (w/ Randall Munroe!)

How do I have my writing read apart from me? Is the Earth really round? How do I find out about food recalls? What would Earth be like if trees had never evolved? Why are the planets different at different distances from the sun? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

340: Blame the Bird

How does something absorb light? How do I handle losing four marks? Is it okay to disagree with movie reviews? Can I just take ice cream? Is it bad luck to open an umbrella in a car? Hank Green and Brennan Lee Mulligan have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

339: Every Building is a Vehicle (w/ Brennan Lee Mulligan!)

How do I respond to decade old bread texts? How do woodpeckers not get concussions? Would Earth's destruction be bad for Mars? Why is it so hard to get the last cereal square on the spoon? How was soap invented? What would Earth look like from space if  it never had life on it? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

338: The Stupidest Birds in the Forest

What's up with all the giraffe sex? Why is it easier to keep a moving bicycle upright? How does my stomach growl? Why were dinosaurs so big? What are some interesting skills to have? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

337: Reserved for Mateys

How do I learn to fart? Do I dream of invisible sounds? Can you use a vacuum inside a vacuum? What does "keep an ear out" mean? Why are hardcover books so expensive? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

336: Welcome to Wendy's

Why is the Earth's interior still molten? How do I tell someone I don't like orange soda? What do I write in the yearbook for someone who failed my class? What do I do with Too Much Peanut Butter? How does a 14-year-old make money? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

335: Just Boil It

How do we know what happens in black holes? How do I make small talk with an old guy? What's the best plant for a typewriter-shaped flower pot? Why do we have capital letters but not numbers? What's the difference between democrats and republicans? Why do heat injuries make you more prone to future heat injuries? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

334: The Nose of A Mouse

Do I address a mis-sent crab flyer? Could we open some terrariums on the moon? What does "run of the mill" mean? How will people on Mars maintain their microbiome? Do snakes need to stretch? Is there a purpose to having music around ad breaks? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

333: Crabulo.us

What grade would we get as an alien's homework? Was your feud over YouTube comment signatures? How do you write an email? Can trees make clouds? How do I make it to the bathroom when the middle seater sleeps? Is it okay to buy used books? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

332: As It Transpired

How do I handle a loved one's astronaut aspirations? Should I pick dandelions? How do I sound more cultured? What is a "vibe" scientifically speaking? How do you think of new jokes? Why can't we send our garbage into space? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

331: The Edge of a Very Small Wilderness

Can I use a mother's day coupon on myself? How much of a dollar bill do you have to have to use it? Why is the computer mouse cursor tilted? How do we know Alpha Centauri is the closest star? Can a smell be solidified? What does my dog know about mirrors? Will a badger respect my pee? Hank Green has answers!Music breaks in this episode:"Fall of a Raindrop" by Calm Shores"Soda Stream Jingle" by somebody in the '90s who probably got paid a LOT"The Bratwurst Song" by Stationary Sign"Street Life Educations" by  Off Cuts If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Note: The podcast ad for the IMPACT app is unscripted and being recorded live. It may contain some slight differences. Please visit https://impact.interactivebrokers.com/ for full details of products and services. Interactive Brokers, LLC member FINRA/SIPC.The projections or other information generated by IMPACT app regarding the likelihood of various investment outcomes are hypothetical in nature, do not reflect actual investment results and are not guarantees of future results. Please note that results may vary with use of the tool over time.The paid ad host experiences and testimonials within the Podcast may not be representative of the experiences of other customers and are not to be considered guarantees of future performance or success. The opinions provided within the ad belong to the host alone.

330: The Dear Hank Rejoinder

What do you picture while reading? How often should a woodpecker poop? What does the spicy cough demand? What do I do about workplace ants? Can a friend be a +1? How do I know if a job is not for me? John Green and Rosianna Halse Rojas have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

329: Here's How to Lose Every Time

Hosts John and Hank Green (authors and YouTubers) offer both humorous and heartfelt advice about life’s big and small questions. They bring their personal passions to each episode by sharing the week’s news from Mars (the planet) and AFC Wimbledon (the third-tier English football club).

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Dear Hank & John

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