In this episode we welcome legendary researcher Dr Brené Brown to the Science of Success. We discuss vulnerability and learn that vulnerability is not weakness, it’s not oversharing, it’s not soft. We learn that even brave and courageous people are scared all the time. We discuss the incredible power of learning to get back up when you’re down, how you can stop caring about what other people think about you, and much more in this in depth interview. Dr Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. She is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness, and her latest book, Dare to Lead, which is the culmination of a seven-year study on courage and leadership. Brené’s TED talk – The Power of Vulnerability – is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world with over 35 million views. She is also the first researcher to have a filmed talk on Netflix, “The Call to Courage” which debuted in April 2019.Life is about the willingness to show up, to put yourself out there, to be all in, when you can’t control the outcome It’s not the critic who counts - it’s easy to spend your life in the cheap seats and hurl judgement at people who are trying and failing Our society doesn’t teach people how to get back up when the fall. Everyone spends their whole life tiptoeing around to ensure they never fall, but the more important skill is to build the skill of GETTING BACK UP. The importance of experiencing adversity. There’s a line between adversity and trauma, we need to experience. It’s not about being perfect at walking, it’s about LEARNING THE SKILL SET OF GETTING BACK UP AGAIN AND AGAINCourage is learnable, teachable, and measurable Courage is essentially the same thing as vulnerability. The Willingness to show up, put yourself out there, and be seen when you can’t control the outcome. Vulnerability, at its core, is about Uncertainty, Risk, and Emotional Exposure“There is no courage without vulnerability” Vulnerability is not as hard, scary, or dangerous as getting to the end of your life and asking “what if I would have shown up?"One of the most defining lessons of Brene’s seven-year study on leadership is the importance of courageous leadership. Even brave and courageous people are scared all the time. It’s not fear that gets in the way of us being brave or vulnerable, it’s armor. What is your go-to armor? How do you self protect when you feel emotionally at risk or exposed?How do you start to take off the armor? Loving kindness and self-compassion. When you work so hard to keep the peace on the outside, you wage a war internally. It’s not your job to make sure you don’t disappoint anyone.You can replace the armor with something that helps you - CURIOSITYGet curious about how you’re showing up, is it serving you? Are you self protecting in a way that’s keeping you small? Your brain thinks in stories - it builds and creates stories to explain the world around you - even if those stories are wrong.A lot of the time we create stories that don’t reflect reality in any way. Why you should start using “The story I'm telling myself…” or “The story I’m making up right now is…"Homework: Take the daring leader survey. Homework: Educate yourself. Watch her TED talk, her Netflix special, read her books. Creating a shared vocabulary is the root of change.

The Science of Success

Dr. Brené Brown: The Can’t Miss Interview On Shame, Self Worth Empathy & Living a Courageous Life

In this episode, we discuss how to hack your brain to finally create the results you want in life. We take a hard look at what really drivers results and the reality that knowledge and skill aren’t what make you successful - the subconscious drives your behavior, that’s it. You don’t need any more tools to achieve your goals, you just need to change your beliefs and your subconscious set points for success, happiness, and achievement. Action is the ultimate arbiter of your success, are you taking enough of it, and how can you take more? We discuss all of this and much more with our guest John Assaraf. John Assaraf is an entrepreneur, brain researcher and the CEO of NeuroGym. He is the author of two New York Times best-selling books and his latest work is titled “Innercise: The New Science to Unlock Your Brain’s Hidden Power”. Throughout his career, he has worked some of the world's top minds and has shared his expertise with millions of viewers on Larry King Live, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and dozens of other media venues worldwide.Emotions are triggered in your subconscious, that then trigger neurochemicals, which cause feelings, which you either like the experience of or don’t like How do you deal with the subconscious fear of failure or disappointment? Emotions are just signals for what’s going on in your brain and in your body Instead of focusing on just on the emotion - focus on what’s CAUSING the emotion - use the emotion as a signal When you don’t understand what’s causing you to be afraid and stopping you from taking action - you will be a VICTIM of your emotions Our behaviors are an EFFECT - if you take action, that’s an effect, if you don’t take action, that’s an effect. Ask yourself - why am I taking (or not taking) the action I want to take?What does real science say that can help you really understand what’s going on?Results are nothing more than effects… but the effects of WHAT?What causes RESULTS in your life?Whenever we have an implicit subconscious belief that differs from a conscious explicit belief we have “neural chaos” and you will “rationalize why you can’t or shouldn’t do it” Not taking action is a behavior. So is taking action. What’s going on in my subconscious mind that is preventing me from taking action?If your values are in conflict with your beliefs - you won’t get the results you want.Knowledge doesn’t drive behavior. Skill doesn’t drive behavior. The subconscious drives behavior. That’s it. How do you embark on the deliberate conscious evolution of yourself?People often confuse GATHERING information with what it takes to impregnate that information into the subconscious You have to practice and exercise and build “neuro muscles” over and over again It takes hours and hours of practice, hundreds and hundreds of hours in many cases - to learn behavior or habit into the brain. The new era of personal development and the new science of success is about understanding brain circuitry and reprogramming it People often don’t need more TOOLS - the problem is that your beliefs and financial set points get stuck How John’s mindset principles created $100mm in 6 months at his real estate company Are you interested in achieving your goals or are you COMMITTED to them?Homework: Cognitive priming. Ask yourself - what do you want from every area of your life? 

The Shocking Secret You Must Know to Create Lasting Behavior Change with John Assaraf

In this episode we discuss improving your “mental nutrition.” Decades ago we realized that our society had started eroding our physical health, with desk jobs and fast food, and we became conscious of the need for fitness and nutrition. Now, we stand at the precipice of an even bigger struggle - we are healthier and happier than ever before and yet anxiety, suicide, and depression are on the rise. How do we improve our mental fitness and take action to challenge our irrationality, our impulsiveness, and our bad habits? Do you want to finally move past inaction, procrastination, and laziness? Do you want to feel happier about the world? Listen to this interview with our returning guest Mark Manson. Mark Manson is the New York Times and international bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and his new already bestselling book Everything Is Fucked. His blog, markmanson.net, attracts more than two million readers per month. He is also the CEO and founder of Infinity Squared Media LLCThe world today is so polarized, mental health issues are on the rise, and yet we are physically safer and healthier than ever before. The better things get, the more anxious humans become about losing them Our world is filled with “hope narratives” that help us hide from the reality that on a cosmic scale we are truly insignificant How do you deal with life if you achieve all your goals early on?What happens when your hope narrative dies? The only defense against our own cosmic insignificance is creating meaning for ourselves Our values and emotions aren’t tethered to our rational thoughts. The thinking brain vs the feeling brain. All the issues around purpose, discipline, control and importance are EMOTIONAL issues, not intellectual issues. The first step to create value and meaning in your life is to develop an action oriented bias. Humans are largely irrational creatures. Most of our actions are impulsive, selfish, and not well thought through, and our conscious mind spends a huge chunk of it’s time and energy coming up with reasons - rationalizations - to explain and justify what the unconscious mind wants to do. You probably think that all your actions are rational and justified - but have you ever really thought about and looked into the narratives and stories you use to explain away bad habits and behaviors in your life?Emotional intelligence is the core of understanding the dialogue between your conscious thoughts and your emotional reactions to your thoughts You must learn to barter with your feeling brain, keep lowering the stakes until your feeling brain is willing to get on board with what your thinking brain wants to do Why is our society, and why are people, so fragile today, and how can we toughen up?Technology today is designed and geared to take advantage and exploit our psychological flaws -what if we had technology that did the opposite, that corrected our cognitive biases? Information diet & mental nutrition - you must take responsibility for your own mental consumption habits, your own mental habits, you must read things that challenge you, consider that your ideas may be wrongHomework: Unfollow or unfriend at least half of the people you follow or friend, including news and media sources Homework: In terms of personal habits think about your goals in terms of thinking brain vs feeling brain - you must find a way to work with your emotions instead of against them. Strike a bargain with your feeling brain.

Your Modern Lifestyle Is Nice, But It Might Be Killing You with Mark Manson

In this episode, we discuss the truth about championship performance. Nobody becomes a champion by accident. We uncover the counter-intuitive reality that being a champion isn’t about doing more, it’s about doing less. We expose the reality that most people spend too much time planning and not enough time acting and share the specific habits and routines that you can use to model your behavior after champions with our guest Dana Cavalea.Dana Cavalea is a high-level performance coach, speaker, and author. He coaches Pro Athletes, Entrepreneurs, and Business Executives on lifestyle strategies to improve daily performance and outcomes. He is the former Director of Performance for the New York Yankees, whom he led to a World Series Championship in 2009. In his first book, Habits of a Champion, he shares his own secrets to becoming a champion.Nobody becomes a champion by accident.When you study high-level performers and world champions - what habits and abilities make them different from everybody else?Champions are extremely consistent and extremely persistent It takes a lot of work to become a champion - but there are commonalities What makes people champions - a deep focus on the simple fundamentals and the basics. It’s not about quick fixes, it’s not about “hacks” and short cuts - it's about really executing the basics and the fundamentals. Step one for champions - MASTERY OF MINDSETSelf-awareness is another cornerstone of championship performanceWhat is the mindset of a champion? What are the common mindsets of champions?How do we learn from and emulate and ultimately create a championship mindset for ourselves?What can Derek Jeter teach us about the psychology and mindset of champions?Baseball is a sport that is “built around failure” and what that can teach us about the psychology of performance?Reframe negative moments into positive momentsIt’s about training your mind to see things in a certain way Focusing on externals - focusing on others and what they are doing won’t get you to where you want to go Championship performance is not about doing more, it’s about doing LESSNo two people should have the same daily routine - we are all at different places in our journey, we have different strengths, different needs, etc How do you go about crafting your own daily routine?Dana recommends starting with your health as the basis of your daily routine The best place to begin changing your mindset is to start with the physical body - activating the body, hydrating the body, taking care of your body What is your vision for yourself? What are you trying to build? What are you trying to create?How important is consistency to world-class performance?You can’t be consistent at everything. You have to keep it simple. Keep it small. Keep it very focused. If you have too many things, you won’t be consistent. Identify what is interrupting your ability to be consistent. Identify things that are draining your energy away. Environments can impact your feeling - it’s important to create environments that enable you to focus on rest and recovery. Create a transition between work and home Homework: Ask yourself if you’re ready to take action and commit to what it is you say you want. Ask yourself - are you willing to do the work?Homework: Start with the basics - hydration and mindset. Built consistency slowly with small habits.

How High Performance is Created At The Most Successful Sports Franchise In The World with Dana Cavalea

In this episode we discuss how you’re wrong about what you think will make you happy. Research shows that the vast majority of people are terrible at predicting what will actually make them happy and even when you think you know what makes you happy, you’re often wrong. We break apart the core delusions that stop you from being happy, and we dig into a scientific analysis of the state of “enlightenment” to uncover that it’s not just something for Buddhist monks, but a measurable brain state that can achieved by anyone, anywhere with our guests Dr. Ash ElDifrawi and Dr. Alex Lickerman.Dr. Ash ElDifrawi is a thought leader in clinical, social, and consumer psychology. He's been featured in The Economist, Forbes, Bloomberg, the WSJ and much more.Dr. Alex Lickerman is the author of The Undefeated Mind and physician. He is the former assistant professor of medicine, director of primary care, and assistant vice president for Student Health and Counseling Services at the University of Chicago. His work has been featured in The New York Times, TIME, USA Today and much more!What you think you need to be happy is wrong Your current beliefs about how to achieve happiness are “delusions” Most of the things you think will make you happy are “delusional beliefs"Does happiness come from getting the things you want?What happens when you lose the things that you’ve anchored your happiness to?It’s like a stick of gum - you get a hit, but then the taste and flavor fade over timeThe science shows that this is a neurological phenomenon - we habituate to any attachment we have. We start to take things for granted. It’s delusional to think that getting something you want is going to make you a happier person. Because of our psychology and our neurology - you can get stuck on a hedonic treadmill and you always come back to your baseline level of happiness. The question for happiness began with empirical study of science, psychology and researchBuddhist philosophers have been observing the mind for 2500 years, in many ways they were some of the earliest psychologists There has been an explosion of research on happiness and yet unhappiness is increasing, too much of the current research is too superficial How can the belief that happiness is about the avoidance of pain lead to more pain, suffering and unhappiness?The Nine “Core Delusions” that prevent you from being happy Any attachment, by definition it’s ability to provide you joy is temporary. All external attachments are eventually lost. All attachments are temporary. Every attachment contains the seed of future suffering. How do you get ENDURING INDESTRUCTIBLE HAPPINESS? Instead of temporary happiness?Could enlightenment be a reproducible life experience? “The default mode network” - the self referential part of the brain How do you “pierce the veil of illusion of the self?"Enlightenment, the scientific brain state of transdencent joy, is something that can be achieved by anyone, anywhere. It’s not just for buddhist monks. How can we reach for the state of awe in our every day lives? How can we move towards enlightenment in our everyday lives? Homework: Become mindful to the degree to which these core delusions determine how happy you are. When something makes you unhappy, ask yourself what has happened that has made you unhappy, what core belief has this event stirred up in you that has made you unhappy? 

You’re Wrong About What Makes You Happy. Here’s The Truth with Dr. Alex Lickerman & Dr. Ash ElDifrawi

In this episode we discuss the important difference between competence and confidence and look at the dangers of focusing too much on building up your self esteem. We explore the “gift of failure” and why, sometimes, it’s better to let children fail than to try and make them feel better. We learn why frustration is a vital and important piece of the learning process, why we must consider the inevitability of failure, and we uncover “one of the most powerful teaching tools” you can use to learn, grow, and improve with our guest Jessica Lahey. Jessica Lahey is a teacher, writer, and author. She is an expert contributor for The Atlantic and the New York Times, and is the author of the New York Times bestseller, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. She is also a member of the Amazon Studios Thought Leader Board.The trajectory of parenting today into “overparenting” is dangerous and worrisome Propping up kids self confidence and telling them how wonderful they are has done children a serious disservice Kids today are more anxious, less interested in taking risks, less interested in learning, and less interested in being brave. They don’t have any experience trying and screwing things up and learning how to do things better. There has been a big drop-off in interest in learning, motivation for learning, and self awareness - all because of the self esteem movementWhen the vision of them being super talented doesn’t match up with their reality - having struggles and problems, which are inevitable - the disconnect creates serious problems for kids and erodes their trust in their parents. Kids become confused. At an early age - turn it around and ask your kids “What do YOU think?” Instead of just telling them they are brilliant. Help them build an internal compass for quality. To succeed - kids must be able to take feedback.It never gets easy to withhold praise from your kids and give them real feedback - but it’s vitally important. Emphasize the PROCESS over the END PRODUCT in what you praise 90% of kids feel like we love them more when they bring home high grades. The dangers of “outcome love” or “performance love” and why its highly destructive to kids on an emotional levelWhen your kids fail - that’s not the end point, that's the starting point for learning. Are you a parent listening to this who says “but I really do care about results, I care about grades” not this other BS - what should you do?How can we redesign our schools and learning system to focus on mastery instead of cramming and playing games?Kids feel like they can’t take to their parents when their parents become super fixated on grades. Focus on the long term - how do you want to shape your kids in the future? Not just this one particular grade or issue. Be an “autonomy supportive parent” and focus on preparing your kids to handle this particular challenge or problem NEXT TIME not just this immediate moment or problemWhy frustration is a vital and important piece of the learning process. Support your kids frustration and let them learn to direct themselves. What is “desirable difficulty?” And why is it “one of the most powerful teaching tools” we have?Kids who can’t be frustrated fall apart whenever they face difficulty. The way to overcome learned helplessness is to give your children autonomy and control. The reality is that failure is inevitable - and it's very dangerous to make our kids brittle in the face of a difficult and challenging world.

Are You Worried About Your Kids Failing? You Need To Listen To This Talk with Jessica Lahey

In this episode we discuss how you can get smarter in a complex and complicated world. How do you deal with confusing and difficult situations? How do you work through some of your life’s most complex problems? In a world of accelerating change, how do you accelerate the quest for wisdom and creativity? We share simple, powerful, solutions you can use to handle complexity in this interview with our guests David Komlos and David Benjamin.David Komlos and David Benjamin - they are the CEO and CTO respectively of the company Syntegrity. Mr. Komlos is an expert coach for leaders on solving their issues. He advises top leaders and enterprises on how to dramatically accelerate solutions and execution on their defining challenges. Mr. Benjamin leads Syntegrity’s lab and client delivery organization. He has been recognized internationally for his work on global strategic planning with top executives in Fortune 500 companies.What is complexity? Why is it so important to be able to handle complexity in today’s world?How is complex different than complicated? Experts can help solve complicated challenges, but not necessarily complex challenges Complex challenges are multi-dimensional and human.What are some basic mental models for sorting complex challenges vs complicated challenges?Ask yourself:Has this been solved before? And how was it solved? Would this problem have been the same 5 years ago or 5 years from now?Complex challenges don’t have a recipe or a discreet playbook to be solvedPlanning a wedding is complicated, having a happy marriage is complex Building a fence is complicated, being a good neighbor is complex The Law of Requisite Variety / Ashby’s Law "Only variety can destroy variety"You can only solve complex challenges by bringing an equal amount of variety to a challenge When we are facing tough complex challenges - we need a variety of experience and expertise “A Lion In Your Office"Often a BIG chunk of the challenge is just SEEING the problem in its entirety An ounce of information is worth a pound of data. An ounce of knowledge is worth a pound of information. An ounce of understanding is worth a pound of knowledge. An ounce of wisdom is worth a pound of understanding. Shared understanding is essential - but we often rush to action before we get there We need FAST Wisdom and CREATIVE Judgement to solve our biggest challenges in today’s world - but wisdom takes a lifetime How do you accelerate the quest for wisdom and solve the world’s toughest and most complex challenges?Complexity is the defining challenge we face in todays’ worldHow do you engineer Fast Wisdom?The framework you can use to engineer “fast wisdom” and solve tough, complex challenges N*N-1 Mental Model and how to create “collaborative collisions” The ideal number of a group of people to work in a group is 5-8 people - you can have very creative and effective collisions How you can create groups to crunch through tough, complex challenges - by using this specific formulaObserversCriticsMembersHow do you ask good questions when looking to solve tough challenges?Homework: Think about a dinner party. What question will guide the conversation in the right way? Who would you invite to create variety? 

Cracking Complexity: This is how you solve your toughest problems with David Komlos & David Benjamin

In this episode we discuss how you create your own reality. We explore the idea that your life experiences are not random or arbitrary, but rather a direct result of your subconscious beliefs. When the conscious and the subconscious conflict, the sub-conscious wins and you’ll never get over your past until you realize how you use it to justify yourself. We dig into the powerful revelation that life only ever changes in the paradigm of action. You must do something differently than what you’ve done before in order to change. All of this and much more with our guest Gary John Bishop. Gary John Bishop is a personal development expert and is the author of the bestselling book Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life and the soon to be released Stop Doing That Sh*t: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back. His approach blends a unique in-your-face approach with high-level training and development practices. Hailing from Glasgow, Scotland Gary’s work has been featured in The New York Times, NPR, Vice, Business Insider, and much more!You’re responsible for the creation of your life. You have to accept it, embrace it, be aware of it, and know it. In the living of your life - you will have to live the decisions and conclusions that you’ve made, whether you’re conscious of it or not As a human being, its incumbent upon you to go beyond yourself, expand your awareness, and live life being fully Just because you’re aware of a problematic belief or behavior -doesn’t mean you will stop doing it Why do people attend tons of personal development seminars, read books etc but then never actually change?Your life experiences are not random or arbitrary, they are defined by an invisible set of rules that you believe to be true - but the reality you experience may not be the same reality that other people experience - the same rules that others experience. You currently existing in a “Default” way of living your life - but there are infinite alternatives to being alive and living your life Freedom for a human being is defined as the actions you take, in relation to your default mode of being You have to actually take action, you have to actually DO something with it. Reading a book is nice, but if you don’t do anything with it, what’s the difference in having read it or not?Life ONLY EVER CHANGES in the PARADIGM OF ACTION. You must DO SOMETHING DIFFERENTLY than what YOU’VE DONE BEFORE. You don’t have to feel differently to do differently, you just have to DO differently.Some of the greatest breakthroughs of science and engineering where discovered by accident.You have to go into the unknown and work your way through it to achieve anythingIf you’ve had success, you try to preserve and maintain certainty, you lose the very strategy that made you successful (plunging into uncertainty) If you’re not as hardcore as Gary John Bishop - how do you start taking action? Start with small actions - and small steps to build momentum and credibility with yourselfIs your life about revealing the future you want or perpetuating the past? Whatever you don’t forgive lives on with you. That includes forgiving yourself and forgiving others. Withholding forgiveness perpetuates what happens, and you end up being left with the resentment. You’ll never get over your past until you realize how you use it to justify yourself.Homework: Look around in your life, look at something you’ve been tolerating, putting off, ignoring or pretending about - pick one item you’ve been tolerating and go handle it TODAY. Take that item, step into action, and go handle it TODAY, regardless of how you feel about it.

Here’s Why You’re Stuck… This is How You Fix It with Gary John Bishop

In this episode we discuss the the male and female brains. Are they different? If so, what are the differences and do they matter? We look at the science behind all of this and unlock key insights into how you can improve your health, happiness, and relationships with by using a few simple strategies with our guest Dr. Louann Brizendine.Dr. Louann Brizendine is the Founder of The Women's Mood and Hormone Clinic and a neuropsychiatrist at UCSF. She is the author of the New York Times best-selling books, "The Female Brain" and "The Male Brain"  and executive producer of the 2017 movie, The Female Brain. She has served as faculty at both Harvard and UCSF and her work has been featured in The Harvard Business Review, The Guardian, and much more!How do we use science of a decision-making framework?Should we stop using science to shape our decisions because it gets things wrong?Why do scientists and experts often hedge their bets when citing evidence and research?Can we believe Science? Is science useful or not?Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater - science and give us really actionable and useful information starting today The process and the progress of science is constantly questioning and constantly testing your assumptions - this is how you move towards the best answers and objective truthThe male and female brain are more alike than they are different, but they do have differences Starting as early as eight weeks of fetal life, the male’s tiny testicles start to pump out testosterone that shape substantial changes in the male’s brain vs the female’s brainThe biology is straightforward - males and females have different brainsThe major differences in the male and female brain have to do with reproduction Puberty impacts males and females differently, and shapes their brains and behaviors in a number of ways From age 11 to age 15 - a man's testosterone levels spike by 25x How much of our gender roles are a result of culture, parenting, and biology?“Relationship play” vs “rough and tumble play” for young boys and girls Is the debate on nature vs nurture dead?These behavioral patterns and traits are like a standard distribution that mostly overlap, but do have differences Does this research about the human brain reinforce gender stereotypes and biases?What is ‘daddy brain’ and how does it affect men?Testosterone decreases by 30% for about 6 monthsThis triggers the male brain to be more protective and more nurturing You can hear infants cry from much further awayVideo games impact the male brain by tapping into your search for mastery and flowHow do we shape or change our behavior as a result of our different brains?Other people are different from you - they think differently! Why offering people advice or solutions instead of validating their feelings can often be the wrong strategy If you’re missing the emotional component when to try to influence people, you’re missing a key piece Homework: For men - say “Honey, I know how you feel” and then pause Homework: For women - Men’s testosterone levels are 10x more than yours, that means your partner is (if you’re the same age) 3x more sexually interested than you are 

The Scientific Difference Between Female & Male Brains with Dr. LouAnn Brizendine

Have you ever desperately wanted something, and then as soon as you get it, or as soon as you achieve it, you seemingly toss it aside and move on to the next new thing? In this episode we explore the powerful brain science behind why this happens. We look at dopamine, how it shapes your behavior, why it causes you to desire certain things and motivates you to achieve new things, but also why it can be dangerous if it becomes too imbalanced. We share strategies for enhancing and harmonizing with your brains “dopamine circuitry” and much more in this interview with Dr. Daniel Z. Lieberman. Dr. Daniel Z. Lieberman is a professor at George Washington University. He has published over 50 scientific reports on behavioral science and provided insight on psychiatric issues for the U.S. Government. He is also co-author of the best-selling book Molecule of More, which discusses the effect dopamine has on the human desire and the human brainThe simple concept of “up versus down” and how it cascades through the way we all live and interact in the world The “paripersonal” space - everything within arms reach - things that you own, possess, and control. When you look “down” into the paripersonal space - you experience these things in “the here and now"When you look “up” you look into the “extra personal space” - beyond yourself - things beyond the here and now that require effort, planning, and motivation to get, acquire, or achieveThe idea of dopamine as the “reward molecule” is WRONGDopamine is not the molecule of reward, but rather the molecule of DESIRE and MOTIVATION People who are dopaminergic might have addictive personalities - excessively eating, gaming, watching porn, etc. A brain on dopamine is like a high performance sports car - it can produce spectacular results, but it breaks down easily What is a dopaminergic brain? A brain with a highly active dopamine system. How does dopamine impact our love circuitry and our experience of love?All dopamine derived pleasures DON'T LAST - as soon as what we desire in the future becomes what we have in the present, dopamine shuts down - and achieving it becomes a let downIf you’re spending most of your time in the dopamine circuitry - you’re ALWAYS focused on WHATS NEXTUnderstanding the brain is the most important thing we can do Highly dopaminergic people like ideas, concepts, and tools - not emotionsEmotional intelligence is the perfect counterbalance to being highly dopaminergicA more advanced strategy to spend more time in the here and now would be mindfulness meditationMeditation is all about clearing your thoughts of future clutter and focusing like a laser on the here and now. Meditation strengthens the circuitry in the brain responsible for processing the here and now. When those circuits are strong it becomes easier to shift into them.Homework: If you are dopaminergic - spend more time focused on the fine arts - fine arts are a great way to see the synthesis between dopamine circuitry and the here and now circuitry.Bonus Homework: Take up a hobby that involves the creation of something. Painting, cooking, playing an instrument, woodworking. These hobbies have fallen out of favor in our modern world. If you want to get the most out of your brain - you have to appreciate its structure, which has been built up for millions of years of evolution. Find ways to do things with your hands. Tinkering, making things. When you’re engaged in a sport or physical activity you’re also harmonizing the here and now (moving your body) + using dopamine to develop strategies to score points and defeat your opponents.

Never Satisfied? Always Feel Like You’re Chasing The Next Thing? Here’s Why with Dr. Daniel Z. Lieberman

In this episode we discuss trauma and how it is stored in the body. What causes trauma and what does it do to your body? We explore whether the rational, thinking mind can deal with trauma and look at some of the ways you can deal with traumatic experiences in your life. What are the best strategies for feeling safe, feeling calm, and feeling in control of your own body? How do you release trauma from your body and feel safe? We discuss all of this and much more with our guest Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk.Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk is a Boston-based psychiatrist and The New York Times best-selling author of The Body Keeps the Score. He was previously the President of the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies, Professor of Psychiatry at Boston University Medical School, and Medical Director of the Trauma Center. He has taught at universities around the world and his work has been featured in TIME, The New York Times, The Boston Globe, and more!What is Trauma? How do we define and understand trauma in today’s society?It makes you want to forget, it makes you want to push it away, it makes you want to erase it. Trauma is something that is so horrendous that you can’t cope with it, it’s too much to deal with Trauma renders you helpless and makes you feel like there is no way out Helplessness is an absolute precondition for a traumatic experience Our society continuously ignores how trauma is formed and created - pushing it under the rug and hiding from itTrauma is not a story - trauma is not a memory about the past. Trauma changes the brain. Trauma sits within you and within your body. People experiencing trauma keep behaving and reacting as if they were stuck in that experience When we are traumatized - the brain often cannot process it and the body “stores it” - the body gets stuck in a state of hyper alertness, the mind gets stuck in a state of hyper-alertness The perceptual situation in the brain becomes rewired to be on “high alert"Your body, your mind, your entire system gets frozen or stuck in “fight or flight” mode When you’re traumatized, it’s very hard to learn or integrate new experiences - thats what makes treating trauma  so difficult Trauma is not typically rationally processed, it goes into the irrational part of the brain and your body gets locked into a place of constantly reacting as if you’re in a sense of danger One of the most tragic results of trauma is people try to shut the feeling down and end up shutting down their ability to feel - or they turn to drugs, alcohol, and pharmaceuticals Studies show that yoga is more effective than any drug that has been studied for solving trauma There is promising research around psychotropics (psylocbin and MDMA) for trauma reliefNeurofeedback is another promising solution for trauma Self regulation - learning to control your own physiology using ancient Chinese and Indian methods - research is starting to show these solutions help as mind body interventions to solve trauma in the body Exposure treatment misunderstands how to treat real trauma It’s not the memory its that your brain/body - entire system - is locked in a state of being “high alert” - and that these mind body interventions are some of the best ways to help people feel “Safe” inside their own bodies Once your body feels safe, you can allow yourself to slowly go to experiences from the past that caused the body to be put into a traumatic state Homework: Take care of your body. Develop a loving relationship to taking care of your body.

Healing Trauma - How To Start Feeling Safe In Your Own Body with Dr. Bessel van der Kolk

In this episode we discuss emotions at work. Do they have a place? What can you do about them? We look at why you should be less passionate about your job, we explore the science behind actually being motivated at work and prevent yourself from being burnt out, and we share a powerfully simple emotion management checklist you can start using right now with our guests Molly West Duffy and Liz Fosslien.Liz Fosslien and Molly West Duffy are the co-authors of No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotion at Work. Liz has run workshops for leaders at organizations such as Google, Facebook, Nike, and Stanford on how to create inclusive cultures. Her writing has appeared in CNN, The Economist, The Financial Times, and NPR.Molly is an Organizational Designer at global innovation firm IDEO. Her writing has been featured in Fast Company, Quartz, Stanford Social Innovation Review, Entrepreneur, Quiet Rev, and other digital outlets, and she’s taught design courses at Stanford.Why you should be LESS passionate about your jobCaring too much about your job can actually be bad for your healthHow do we “take a chill pill” and distance ourselves from our work?The Power of Rest and Recovery and the diminishing returns of over workingCarve out time to think, carve out time to be alone, make time for friends and family What do people get wrong about motivating and inspiring themselves?Your emotions can create and sustain your motivationsWhat are the things that kill motivation?How to take back control of your work and deal with a tough or micro managing boss The “progress principle” - small incremental progress of small wins can snowball How do you build motivation at work? (And stop the things that kill your motivation) It’s biologically impossible to stop feeling emotion. You cannot make decisions without emotion. Is it possible that envy can be a productive emotion? Can envy help you make better decisionsCan anger and anxiety be productive tools to helping you achieve your goals?We walk through a great emotional management checklist that you can start to use right away to improve your decision making Discover your decision-making tendency - satisfiers and maximizers - what are the differences and why is that important?Run your thinking by another person - verbalizing them out loud forces you to synthesize information and identify biases in your thinking How do you create psychological safety? One easy strategy is to positively reinforce someone taking one of these risks. Use “generative language” to keep ideas flowing and open The concept of “task conflict” - we like each other, but we clash with each other over the CONTENT of our work Write your own “User Manual” or “How To Work With Me Guide” to give to your boss, coworkers, etc Your feelings aren’t factsWe often react and interact with each other based on assumptions that we never both to explore or look into at all The words we say are not always what we mean The 3 things to do if you have an issue with someoneLabel your feelingsUnderstand where those feelings are coming fromFeel calm enough to have a conversation about your emotions without getting emotional An in person request is more than thirty times more likely to be a yes than an emailed one What are some best practices for digital communication?Homework: Sit down and write down everything you’re feeling to develop your emotional granularity and self awareness. Take the time to reflect and think about what you’re feeling. Then identify the NEED behind those feelings.

No Hard Feelings: Your Complete Guide To Dealing With Emotions At Work with Liz Fosslien & Mollie West Duffy

In this episode we share how to “get over yourself” and stop taking things so seriously, we discuss the important relationship between confusion and clarity, and we explore the art of letting go of the need for safety, security and control in your everyday life so that you can relax into who you’ve always been with our guest Dr. Mark Epstein. Dr. Mark Epstein is a psychiatrist in private practice in New York City and the author of a number of books about the interface of Buddhism and psychotherapy, including his most recent books The Trauma of Everyday Life and Advice Not Given: A Guide to Getting Over Yourself. He is currently Clinical Assistant Professor in the Postdoctoral Program in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis at New York University and his work has been featured in Psychology Today, The New York TImes, and more!How do we move from addiction/anxiety/depression/worry to love/relief/understanding?What’s the prescription for solving anxiety and worry?The prescriptions from the ancient texts of buddhism are still highly relevant in solving many of today’s problems with the human condition Realizing that the mind is trainable is the beginning of your journey towards relief and understanding The untrained mind is a wild thing - one of the challenges of adulthood is to get a handle on your own mindHow do we start to be honest with ourselves and confront our own mental addictions and negative thoughts?Anything that promotes self reflection is the way to begin confronting your thoughtsYou don’t have to overcome your fears - you just have to be willing to examine them The hardest thing is often just being willing to take the first step You can’t force someone into meditation - someone has to reach a critical point of personal suffering and to make their own decisionHow his father’s battle with brain cancer transformed Dr. Epstein’s relationship with helping othersHow do you handle your own mind when facing death or dying?“The craft of meditation” - the practice and technique of what to do and how to meditate - is only one part of the puzzle The “art of meditation” - beyond just the physical technique - is a rich field of exploration Ancient buddhist texts offer some deep insights into modern psychotherapy - but the language of ancient Buddhism is couched in the understanding of thousands of years ago and needs some interpretationWhy people “expect too much from meditation” and what that means In the west especially - we want the science to “do it for us” - but we have to do it ourselves There’s an important relationship between confusion and clarity The clarity that one seeks only comes from sitting and staring at your confusion The fundamental power of meditation and mindfulness comes from really staring and facing the difficult Creating a "therapeutic split in the ego"It’s possible to be both the observer and that which is being observed in your own stream of consciousness The ego - as we think about it in western society is all about self preservation and self control - it’s looking for safety, security, and control We can’t jump right into enlightenment - it's about the JOURNEY and the everyday work, practice, and moments of honest reckoning with ourselves  How to create humility and graciousness in your life Homework: Read a book, or go to an art museum. Go outside, close the door, stand there and listen. Trust yourself. 

Reveal How You Can Banish Stress & Anxiety With Science & Ancient Wisdom with Dr. Mark Epstein

In this interview we discuss how to create an “external brain” that lets you keep track of your tasks, projects, ideas and inspirations - while freeing your conscious mind for the most productive and focused thinking - we explore how you can connect the external world of meetings and events with your internal world of ideas and thoughts in a uniquely powerful way, and we demonstrate how you can save up to 144 hours a year using a few simple techniques with our guest Charles Byrd.Charles Byrd is a productivity and organizational expert and the founder of Byrd Word. He’s known as the world’s foremost Evernote guru.  As a productivity expert, Charles coaches CEOs and entrepreneurs how to "Kill the Chaos" of information overload.  Evernote is a “trusted system” you can apply to your life, profession, business etc. Creating an “external brain” to keep track of your tasks, projects, ideas, inspirationThe powerful merger of collecting things from your internal worlds and external world and connecting them Your “5 second superpower” - find whatever you want or need in 5 seconds or less Do you use Evernote for one “specific thing” instead of everything? How you can find key information you need in high pressure and difficult situations How you can cut down on task switching How you can be more focused and creative by taking processing load out of your conscious mind How to tag things in Evernote for instant and easy recallWho, What, Where Why How to hack Siri shortcuts to amp the power of Evernote to the next levelThe “Power Trifecta” - a combination of tools, work flows, and habits to create the most optimized routines possible Simple tactics you can use to start adding things to Evernote right away “Do I need it, do I dig it?"How to begin with Evernote if you’ve always wanted to, but aren’t sure where to startHow you can save 3 hours a week using Evernote - that’s 144 hours a year - 18 working days of reclaimed timeCreate a Siri shortcut for master list and marketing idea notesHow you can feel like a rock star who can do anything How to hack meetings to be more productive Click the “Task” Checkbox on any action items you have within a meeting or conversationWrite a 1-2 sentence summary of the meeting and any key action items Evernote is the “cornerstone” of productive sanity Evernote is the foundation of being productive in the modern day

Evernote Secrets That Will Help You Develop a “Photographic Memory” & A Powerful “External Brain” with Charles Byrd

In this episode we discuss how to boost your energy, focus, and happiness in 5 minutes or less using a dead simple strategy anyone can apply right away. We explore the power of self knowledge and why it’s one of the cornerstones of success in any area of life, and we uncover several powerfully uncomfortable questions we can ask ourselves to be happier, healthier and more productive with our guest Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen Rubin is the author of the New York Times bestsellers, Better Than Before, The Happiness Project, Happier at Home, and The Four Tendencies and her latest book is Outer Order Inner Calm. She’s appeared on TV outlets such as the Today show, Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday Morning, and more. She’s also appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post, and many more!I finally cleaned out my fridge and now I know I can switch careers.When we get control of the stuff of our lives we often see big results.American adults spend 55 minutes a day looking for misplaced items. Focusing on order can yield huge benefits VERY QUICKLY with simple focus. The “one-minute rule” - if you can do it in less than a minute, do it without delay.How to keep the scum of clutter on the surface of life go away.It’s much easier to keep up than to catch up.Figure out WHAT YOU NEED to do your best work and then GET IT - create the environment in which you can thrive.There isn’t ONE BEST WAY to set up your environment to thrive. Self knowledge is the most powerful and fundamental kind of knowledge you can create. One of the great challenges of our lives is really trying to grapple with - what is the truth about ME?Ask yourself uncomfortable questions. Whom do you envy?It’s a very revealing thing. It shows you that they have something that you wish for yourself.Whose job or life gives you a TON of envy? There’s information there about what you want to do. Most useful things involve discomfort - especially when it comes to self knowledge. When trying to decide - should I ask this of myself or not? Choose the BIGGER LIFE - what to YOU will create a BIGGER life? Sometimes it’s worth the insecurity and frustration and anxiety if you’re pursuing what - to you- represents a bigger life. Is it worth the time? The bandwidth? All reality is one interconnected mess.That’s why it’s so important to have a multi-disciplinary perspective.There’s a HUGE difference between “I’m right” and “This is what’s true for me."In a fight over dirty dishes at the office - that’s the tip of a giant iceberg of psychology that shapes hundreds of complex and nuanced interactions. There are so many ways to achieve your goals, experiment and try different methods.Homework: How do you decide what to get rid of? Do you need it, do you use it, do you love it? Don’t get organized, get rid of things first. Homework: The one minute rule - anything you can do in under a minute, do it without delay. It’s not so much WHAT should you do, but rather how can you get yourself to STICK to what you want to do? Experimentation is crucial. Homework: Ask yourself - how have you succeeded in the past? Ask yourself what you learned from that and model that behavior. 

How You Can Boost Your Energy, Focus & Happiness In 5 Minutes or Less with Gretchen Rubin

The #1 Evidence Based Growth Podcast on the Internet. The Science of Success is about the search for evidence based personal growth. It's about exploring ways to improve your decision-making, understand your mind and how psychology rules the world around you, and learn from experts and thought leaders about ways we can become better versions of ourselves.

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The Science of Success

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