We so often value logic and discount the value of emotions – well not today! Today, parent coach Alison Smith tells us about the importance of emotions and gives us ideas on how to help our kids develop their emotional intelligence.    References & Resources: Alison Smith Parent Coach You EQ Games The Ungame Today I Feel…: An Alphabet of Feelings Michele Borba’s book: UnSelfie: How Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All About Me World

The Happy Student

Emotional Games with Alison Smith

“They say” a lot of things about how you should raise your children and it can be totally overwhelming and stressful when what “they say” just isn’t practical for you and your children. Our guest, Lauren from They Say Parenting is here to tell you it’s okay and to talk about how she let go of what “they say” and how you can too!   References & Resources:   They Say Parenting Order Lauren’s Book: They Say… (Not Your Average Parenting Book) TheySayParenting on Instagram @TSParenting on Twitter TheySayParenting on Pinterest

What “They Say” about Parenting with Lauren Jumrukovski

The American Academy of Pediatrics just put out a strongly worded statement arguing against spanking because the AAP argues that spanking can harm kids. This is controversial because a lot of parents spank their kids as part of discipline and no one wants to hear that they are doing the wrong thing, especially when they feel like they don’t have a good alternative. So what’s the deal with spanking? And are there good alternatives?   References & Resources:   Alison Smith Parent Coach A Gift from Alison Smith: The Gentle Parenting Manifesto from   The Happy Student episodes on discipline: “The General Rules of Discipline” “Types of Discipline” “Giving Logical Consequences” “What To Do When Your Kid ‘Talks Back’ with Alison Smith” “The Bizarre Time-Out Controversy” “Lighthouse Parenting”

What’s the Hubbub Surrounding Spanking? (with Alison Smith)

Our kids do as we do. And what we want for them is to be happy and fulfilled. So, if they’re going to be like us, we need to be happy and fulfilled so they can be. Easier said than done. Fireborn’s got 7 tips that intertwine so you can do multiple at a time for maximum happiness efficiency, so that your kids can learn how to be just like you.

How To Be Happy and Fulfilled So Your Kids Are Too

Is your child always putting work off, or rather "saving it for later"? Procrastination is a problem most of us struggle with. Fireborn's got 9 tips to help you help your kid get to work now instead of later. If you are looking for more information on procrastination, or to check out the research mentioned in the episode, here are some articles: 1. Wall Street Journal   2. Science Direct  3. Social & Personality Psychology Compass 

The Procrastination Problem Solvers

It can be really difficult for kids to focus on school work when they’re having social troubles and yet sometimes we have to sit through class or study for a test even though we are going through tough times. We have to be able to control our emotions in order to get stuff done. Learning to control our emotions when it’s hard requires learning how to do that when our emotions aren’t out of control. Fireborn’s got 6 tips to help you help your kid control their emotions when times are easy so that they are easier to control when times are hard.   Resources: Calm Flipping Your Lid Sitting Still Like a Frog

Controlling Emotions When It’s Hard

Working memory is basically your short-term memory. If you struggle with working memory, you just don’t have the space in your short-term memory to remember what you just read. It can be hard for note taking because maybe you want to respond to your teacher’s question, but the person next to you is making a good point – how do you write down what they are saying while remembering what you want to say? It’s super hard and frustrating! So we’ve got some tips to help you improve your kids’ working memory!   References & Resources: Attitude Mag CogMed Lumosity Play Attention Understood.org

Work that Memory

Studying is not an intuitive skill. Lots of students do not know how to actually study. This can mean kids avoid studying because they aren’t actually sure what to do. Or it can mean they spend a lot of time studying, but not actually learning or retaining very much. Fireborn has a few tips to help kids understand how to study effectively and efficiently by making studying more of an active process and making sure kids don’t spend too much time studying information they already know well.   In the episode, we reference some general study tips. To learn more, check out Fireborn’s blog post “How to Survive Exams”. We also talk about the 3rd Party Problem and how to overcome it. Check out The Happy Student, Episode 20: “Talk to Me” for more information.

How to Study

Okay – somehow you got your kid to start doing their homework. That’s amazing. How do you now help them maintain their focus on their homework? Fireborn has 8 tips to help your children sustain their attention. Talk with your kids about which strategies they want to try when school starts. That way, when they start their homework, they can keep working, finish their assignments, and start the school year off right!

Now That I Have Your Attention

Psychologist Bob Sternberg joins Fireborn to talk about how there is more to succeeding and thriving than testing well. He says “You don’t have to be the best student in your class to have something to contribute to the world.” That’s an excellent message to get across to kids because in school you are so often assessed based on grades that it may be hard to remember that you have value even if you aren’t the best in your class. In this episode, we talk about how to help your child really take that message to heart.

Bob Sternberg on Wisdom, Intelligence, Creativity, and Success

Executive Functions is a hot term. And that’s a good thing. Executive functions are some really key support skills that help you to be successful in school and later in life. They include things like your ability to plan, to organize, to manage your time, to think before you speak, to start working on really boring tasks because you just have to, and to keep your attention on those really boring tasks. We are all naturally better at some things and worse at others. And because some things come naturally to us, it can make us think that it should be natural for everyone else. But that’s not the case. Sometimes your kids are naturally good at the same things as you, but not always. So in this episode, we go through the executive functions, discover what you are good at so that you can think about your kid’s executive functions and how their strengths and weaknesses play out at home. That will be a good starting place for starting to work on improving the areas that are weaker.   References: Life Skills Podcast Episodes “Just Get Started” – Task Initiation “Transition Trouble” – Task Initiation “The Procrastination Problem Solvers” – Task Initiation “5 Tips to Help Your Kid Build their Attention Span” – Sustained Attention “Now that I Have Your Attention” – Sustained Attention “Prepare to Be Distracted” – Sustained Attention “Your Feelings Aren’t You” – Emotional Control “Brain Science to the Rescue” – Emotional Control “Keeping Track of What You Don’t Have to Do” - Planning “Back to School Already? Okay, here are some tips” – Planning and Organization “Back to School On Time” – Time Management

98: Your Executive Functions Strengths

Communicating with teens can be a challenge. And it can only get harder when they are sad, stressed, or grumpy. Maybe they come home and are just furiously texting or maybe they come home and they rush to their room or they hang out in the family area, but they just don’t engage with you, despite your sweet, sincere attempts to figure out what’s wrong. Psychologist Lisa Damour, who wrote Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood, has identified 4 reasons why your teenager may not be talking to you when they are upset. In this episode we talk about all 4 of them and what you can do to get your teen to open up to you.     Resources & References: Damour, L. (2017). “Why your grumpy teenager doesn’t want to talk to you.” The New York Times. Damour, L. (2017). Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood. Life Kit: Parenting: Difficult Conversations

When Your Sad Teen Won’t Open Up

Recently research about the effectiveness of helicopter parenting came out – it seemed to say that helicopter parenting works. And yet, experts, like us, have warned against it. So Fireborn took a look at this research and came to the conclusion that maybe helicopter parenting works, but the research affirms what experts have always been saying: an authoritative parenting style is the most important thing for positive outcomes.   Resources & References: “The Bad News About Helicopter Parenting: It Works” Lighthouse Parenting Because I Said So

The Effectiveness of Helicopter Parenting

ADHD manifests in a multitude of ways. It can be challenging, incredibly hard, as well as rewarding for the child with ADHD and his parents. Sam Hopkins grew up with ADHD and went on to graduate from college as a member of Phi Beta Kappa, but not before his mom really questioned if she was doing the right thing for him. Hear Sam's story this week on The Happy Student - with a special guest appearance from Dr. Caren Baruch-Feldman, author of "The Grit Guide for Teens" on having ADHD today. 

#64: Sam Hopkins's Story

Often kids waste time studying things they already know and then they don’t have time to dive deep into studying the stuff that is challenging them. Teaching them about what deliberate studying is and how to study deliberately so that they focus on the hard stuff can help them use their time more efficiently and effectively!   Studying References: How to Study Study that Vocab! Tackling Reading Comprehension

Deliberate Studying

A podcast for parents who want to learn practical strategies to help their kids succeed in school both academically and socially.

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The Happy Student

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