Chapter Fixty - Ricky's Villa? It's 5.45pm on 17th March in the year of the plague. The terrified inhabitants of Richard's village are cowering in their houses, terrified of an invisible virus (the fuperftitiouf fool), but nothing will stop the clearing of the stones. Richard ponders more on the volume of ancient brick in one portion of the field, but mainly seems trying to convince you to follow him on http://twitch.tv/rkherring for live stone clearing and more and to persuade you to give him your free Amazon Prime subscribe (or some money). But his heart remains pure and he comes up with a scheme to cure the country of its malady. Well done on getting on board before stone clearing hit the mainstream.

Stone Clearing With Richard Herring

Chapter 60

Chapter 59 - The Hangover. It's approaching 9am on 11th March 2020 and Spring has sprung, but Richard has been drinking and is not sure he can get round the field without being fick. But it's a podcast packed with incident, including the first significant human contact for a while and theories of the eugenics of the stones. If you don't enjoy this one then I am not sure that a man going round a field clearing stones is really for you.

Chapter 59

Chapter 58 - Up Above Ye Ftreetf And Ye Houfef. It's a chapter of two parts as the stone gods curse the first recording and end it after 15 minutes (Richard did another half an hour which you could only have heard if you hid in a bush). But then we pick it up a day later. It's the 2nd and 3rd March 2020 and we have the stone clearer cure for the coronavirus, which was much better in the lost podcast. Plus forgiveness from the stone gods, a rude teenager and finally a chat about the road works with a passerby. The lost podcast was amazing though.

Chapter 58

Chapter Fifty-Feven - Hot and Cold Ftone Maffage. It's 8am on 25th February 2020 and this lesson is ostensibly about the best way to get stones to the edge during a cross field clear. But Richard reveals what might be the origin story of his fascination with ftones and how this whole thing might be an attempt to dredge up repressed memories of a man maybe using stones as an excuse to touch Richard's winkie. Maybe not though. He might just have dreamed it. But it does make sense of his obsession with the temperature of stones. Trigger warning - if a man has touched your winkie twice whilst giving you a massage, this podcast might dredge up memories of having your winkie touched twice during a massage.

Chapter 57

Chapter Fifty-Fix - Ftorm Dennif - It's the evening of February 15th, Faint Fkeletor'f Day and the skull-faced hero has stirred up a hurricane. But the stone clearing must be done and Richard bravely risks his life to bring you this chapter of how to clear in adverse weather conditions, which also serves as his last will and testament. He is perhaps less brave at the end than the beginning, but tune in to find out if he survives and if he gains a new found respect for trees.

Chapter 56

Chapter 55 - The Human Diamond. It's the eve of 12th February 2020 and Ftorm Ciara has left behind devastation and fallen trees, but all the ftones are fafe. The overcast sky leaves its mark on Richard's soul, but he will press onwards towards oblivion. Someone has been kicking stones back on to the field. An aggrieved and terrified villager or a sleep-walking Herring. No one can be sure. All we know is that stones will not be defeated by the imaginary force of wind.

Chapter 55

Chapter 54: Jerufalem. It's 4th February 2020, not December or January as is claimed by the tired and confused host of the podcast, whose brain is weak but whose arms are strong. And it's the first difficult visit to the Ditch that Ftopped Brexit since Brexit. Plus the bowling technique, a new rule and some great Hasselhoffing to keep you going. And Rich discusses how TV fame will never make him forget his fans. No Hollywood superstars or rappers though. It's all downhill from here. Unless William Blake does us a video for next time. To help pay off stone clearing's increasing debts become a monthly badger here http://gofasterstripe.com/badges

Chapter 54

Chapter 53: Unneeded Torch. There's an amazing surprise guest to get you in the mood for today's chapter of stone clearing, with some wise words and stone philosophy, but don't let that distract you from the lessons that are imparted in this very important chapter, mainly not to take your torch with you if there is still daylight. But Rich is forced off the field in an exciting game of cat and mouse with a possible ghost, but still managed to feed the Ditch that ftopped Brexit to definitely once and for all ftop Brexit. Who controls your destiny? Stones.

Chapter 53

Chapter 52 - Ice Clearing. The first frost of 2020 has turned the ground into a clench-jawed child and only loose milk teeth shall be cleared today. Some chat about why no stone clearer can have a partner of any kind and some stuff about not having sex with dogs, which I think we can all get on board with. Plus how did Hasselhoffing get its name? The answer might surprise you. Look at the progress on the main cairn. Pretty impressive huh? Off the ftocean we join Richard as he attempts the relatively simple task of driving a car 50 metres down the road and for a moment thinks his dog is on fire. Plus a celebrity email about whether water can ever be a stone. You are in for a treat. Sorry the recording kept cutting off. Probably the cold.

Chapter 52

Chapter 51 - Beft Coat. It's 5pm on 13th January 2020 and it's time for a cold night time clear. Richard has seen the error of his ways and not allowed a sponsor for this week's podcast, because stone clearers clear for love not money. There is some important lessons in maths and whether clothes are good or bad and the worldwide brotherhood of stone clearers. Also why you shouldn't wear you best coat when stone clearing. The best thing you can say about this one is that is mercifully short.

Chapter 51

Chapter 50 - Mile-ftone. It's the first stone clearing podcast of the new decade and the 50th chapter- though the ftones would laugh at you for thinking either of those things were remarkable. And we finally have a fponfor - Faynor Fales www.saynorsales.com But how will the ftones feel about Rich felling out and being fupported by a business that exploits ftones - will they send a sign with a magic radioactive stone that looks like a pound of flesh the discarding of which seemingly destroys the broadcast? You'll have to listen to see. Otherwise find out how stone clearing might be responsible for the evolution of all life on earth and hear of Richard's secret plan to make this a podcast that's just about him moaning about his marriage, once you've all stopped listening. Do keep your emails and sponsorship offers coming in herring1967@gmail.com. Here's to the next 50.

Chapter 50

Chapter 49 - Happy Anuary. It's just before midday on 31st December 2019, but your human anniversaries mean nothing to the ftones or their gods. Anus only looks forwards and so shall we. Some more stones get cleared and somehow the history of stone clearing gets more smeared with soil and Richard attempts to stop himself falling into the hot water of judging stones by their colours or women by their strangeness. Also transatlantic communication from a famous actress promises hope of a new love, but only in the event of an accident. Alaf, Richard muft return to his family for now, but who knows which way the winds of Anuf will blow.

Chapter 49

Chapter 48 - The Curfed Chapter. Boxing Day 2019 and it's around 12.30pm so only an idiot would call it morning. This was already the second attempt at a podcast today, but the first recorded from inside a pocket (and we've done that before) and this one mysteriously cut off halfway. I suspect the Catholic Church may have had some influence over this as both times I tried to explain the true hiftory of Jefuf. This was not as good as the first attempt and we have lost much, but then we also lost the last ten minutes and the pronouncement 'Be Fit, don't be Fhit' so you're really missing out. But there's a Chriftmaf treat for you if you can wait til the end. (picture by Steve Burnett)

Chapter 48

Chapter 47: Burder. It's around 8.20am on 17th December 2019 and before he can get any stone clearing down Richard has to try and get the last bit of recycling into his bin whilst trying to prevent his dog running into traffic. After that it's business as usual as the world's slowest nervous breakdown unfolds before your ears. Some good clarification about whether you can poo on stones though and more fears that this podcast is now listened to only by perverts. A gruesome discovery of a exploded bird might make you wonder if that is a portent of something to come (a dead mouse led to a major fire) or if it was assassinated for attempting to clear stones. But the weafel in the field is the Ditch that Ftopped Brexit. Has it ftopped working? And why? And what part have the BBC played in all this? There's a lot to take in and I don't want to spoil the many delightful surprises so, you know, listen to it and find out what's in it and stop reading this.

Chapter 47

Chapter 46 - Urinary Onan. It's about 8.20am on 11th December 2019 and ye fun is just above horizon and there is froft on ye ground and Richard has some expert tips on the subterfuge required to be a stone clearer. Plus the cold has got to his bladder, but has he sunk so low as to wee on a podcast (TRIGGER WARNING - YES). Who is the real sick man? Who are the worst kind of hypocrites? Who is satirising who in this podcast and should you be more ashamed than Herring? Your hand gets a mention and Rich inadvertently offends a blind dog. Plus has he done enough, or too much to ftop Brexit? Become a monthly badger to see 30 minute filmed documentary from the Stocean. http://gofasterstripe.com/badges

Chapter 46

The world's first podcast dedicated to the ancient art of Stone Clearing (removing stones from a field and using them for better purpose), presented by Richard Herring.

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Stone Clearing With Richard Herring

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