Today we’re talking about the relationship between resilience and vulnerability and how those two things are an integral part of living a purposeful life. I’ll use some quotes from one of my favorite books – one of those books you read that makes an indelible impression on you. And we’ll touch on what actually creates resilience, which is the ability to bounce back, to remain purposeful even if you get disappointed or you fail at something. And I ask these questions: Does being resilient mean you can't allow vulnerability? Or if you reveal vulnerability, does that reflect a lack of resilience? Here's my best answer. Our listener email is from someone who has fallen in love with a man whose son died within the last year. She wants some advice on how to be supportive in this very new but already special relationship. Important Links: Article on <a href= "https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/mans-search-meaning"> Dr. Victor Frankl</a> and “logotherapy.” <a href= "https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/creative-development/201407/the-resilient-child"> Psychology Today article by Maureen Healy</a> on developing resilience You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, <a href= "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/selfwork-dr.-margaret-rutherford/id1166015598?mt=2">SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford</a>. Subscribe to <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/">my website</a> and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click <a href= "https://facebook.com/groups/SelfWork">here</a> and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order <a href= "http://perfectlyhiddendepression.com/">here!</a> Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! <iframe src= "https://www.speakpipe.com/widget/inline/o7tgkiimlqfx0v6hek7fqlpidb0i03r8" width="100%" height="200" frameborder="0"></iframe>

Today we’re talking about the relationship between resilience and vulnerability and how those two things are an integral part of living a purposeful life. I’ll use some quotes from one of my favorite books – one of those books you read that makes an indelible impression on you. And we’ll touch on what actually creates resilience, which is the ability to bounce back, to remain purposeful even if you get disappointed or you fail at something. And I ask these questions: Does being resilient mean you can't allow vulnerability? Or if you reveal vulnerability, does that reflect a lack of resilience? Here's my best answer. Our listener email is from someone who has fallen in love with a man whose son died within the last year. She wants some advice on how to be supportive in this very new but already special relationship. Important Links: Article on Dr. Victor Frankl and “logotherapy.” Psychology Today article by Maureen Healy on developing resilience You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!                      

SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford | Self-Help | Mental Health | Depression | Anxiety | Relationship Problems| Therapy

170 SelfWork: Resilience, Vulnerability, and Finding Purpose

Today we’re going to cover two of the most frequent questions I hear -- how to find a therapist and how you know a therapist is right for you. The title of the episode has “new” in quotes because often what's old is new again, and that's certainly the case here!  We'll go over the seven factors that are found to make therapy the most effective it can be. What are those? Let's start out with the alliance between the therapist and the client. That's #1. The listener email today is from a young woman who’s in a relationship with someone who seems very depressed – who has had a difficult childhood, is a child of divorce and has been very influenced by a mother who has always seen the world very negatively. Her question is about her actions are seen as intentionally malicious. The listener doesn’t know what to do and is asking for advice, as currently she feels blamed irrationally and viewed through overly distrustful eyes. Important Links: Episode 001 SelfWork: <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/selfwork-what-is-good-therapy/">What Is Good Therapy</a> <a href="https://www.onlinetherapyreviews.com/">Ratings of the top ten online counseling services</a>. Recent APA Meta-analysis of Therapeutic Effectiveness: <a href= "https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/11/ce-corner-sidebar">Seven Demonstrably Effective Factors</a> and <a href= "https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/11/ce-corner-relationships">Report by Tora DeAngelos</a> You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, <a href= "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/selfwork-dr.-margaret-rutherford/id1166015598?mt=2">SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford</a>. Subscribe to <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/">my website</a> and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click <a href= "https://facebook.com/groups/SelfWork">here</a> and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order <a href= "http://perfectlyhiddendepression.com/">here!</a> Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! <iframe src= "https://www.speakpipe.com/widget/inline/o7tgkiimlqfx0v6hek7fqlpidb0i03r8" width="100%" height="200" frameborder="0"></iframe>

Today we’re going to cover two of the most frequent questions I hear -- how to find a therapist and how you know a therapist is right for you. The title of the episode has “new” in quotes because often what's old is new again, and that's certainly the case here!  We'll go over the seven factors that are found to make therapy the most effective it can be. What are those? Let's start out with the alliance between the therapist and the client. That's #1. The listener email today is from a young woman who’s in a relationship with someone who seems very depressed – who has had a difficult childhood, is a child of divorce and has been very influenced by a mother who has always seen the world very negatively. Her question is about her actions are seen as intentionally malicious. The listener doesn’t know what to do and is asking for advice, as currently she feels blamed irrationally and viewed through overly distrustful eyes. Important Links: Episode 001 SelfWork: What Is Good Therapy Ratings of the top ten online counseling services. Recent APA Meta-analysis of Therapeutic Effectiveness: Seven Demonstrably Effective Factors and Report by Tora DeAngelos You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!          

169 SelfWork: The "New" Evidence On What Makes Therapy Effective

My dad used to say to us as kids, “Your rights end where someone else’s nose begins.” And that’s where I began learning about boundaries. Psychological boundaries are those that define where your own personal limits are as to what is emotionally harmful, and what is not. And that is unique to every individual. We'll ask these questions: What makes a boundary necessary to voice? Or there “understood” boundaries? When does a boundary have a positive effect and when is it not? How is a boundary different from an demand? Or is it? What is your recourse if a boundary you’ve set and explained is continuously ignored or blatantly defied The listener email offers has a great question about how a history of an ex with a pornography problem and the underlying deceit can have an effect on future trust and self-confidence. She’s asking for help – what can she do? You can hear more about boundaries and many other topics by listening to my podcast, <a href= "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/selfwork-dr.-margaret-rutherford/id1166015598?mt=2">SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford</a>. Subscribe to <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/">my website</a> and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click <a href= "https://facebook.com/groups/SelfWork">here</a> and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order <a href= "http://perfectlyhiddendepression.com/">here!</a> Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! <iframe src= "https://www.speakpipe.com/widget/inline/o7tgkiimlqfx0v6hek7fqlpidb0i03r8" width="100%" height="200" frameborder="0"></iframe>

My dad used to say to us as kids, “Your rights end where someone else’s nose begins.” And that’s where I began learning about boundaries. Psychological boundaries are those that define where your own personal limits are as to what is emotionally harmful, and what is not. And that is unique to every individual. We'll ask these questions: What makes a boundary necessary to voice? Or there “understood” boundaries? When does a boundary have a positive effect and when is it not? How is a boundary different from an demand? Or is it? What is your recourse if a boundary you’ve set and explained is continuously ignored or blatantly defied The listener email offers has a great question about how a history of an ex with a pornography problem and the underlying deceit can have an effect on future trust and self-confidence. She’s asking for help – what can she do? You can hear more about boundaries and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!        

168 SelfWork: The What, Why, When, Where and How of Setting Boundaries

There are certain diagnoses that may be co-occurring with perfectly hidden depression (PHD) or could be confused with PHD. And the last thing I want is for anyone to label themselves PHD or identify with PHD and stop there – when instead, you may need to recognize that you're experiencing another type of psychological issue that warrants understanding and even treatment. Those diagnoses are Bipolar II disorder, Obsessive Compulsive disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. We'll talk today about what traits PHD and these other disorders have in common and what makes them distinct from one another. The listener email for the week comments on my habit of including research and ideas from other people on SelfWork -- and I respond about the "why" of that choice on my part. Important Links: The <a href= "https://personalitymax.com/personality-types/infj-confidant/">INFJ personality category</a> or the Myers-Briggs <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Panic-Third-Control-Anxiety-ebook/dp/B002EBDPKK"> Don't Panic</a> by Reid Wilson <a href= "https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/85662.Understanding_the_Borderline_Mother"> Understanding the Borderline Mother</a> by Christine Lawson <table width="628"> <tbody> <tr> <td colspan="2" width="628">Bipolar II Disorder</td> </tr> <tr> <td width="319">Meets criteria for a current or past hypomanic episode</td> <td width="309">And meets criteria for a current or past depressive episode:</td> </tr> <tr> <td width="319"> A distinct period of abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood and abnormally and persistently increased activity or energy, lasting at least four consecutive days and present most of the day, nearly every day, and including at least three of the following symptoms: <ol> <li>Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity</li> <li>Decreased need for sleep</li> <li>More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking</li> <li>Flight of ideas or subjective experience of racing thoughts</li> <li>Distractibility</li> <li>Increase in goal-directed activity (socially, at work or school, or sexually) or physical agitation. Excessive involvement in activities with high potential for painful consequences (e.g., buying sprees, foolish investments, sexual indiscretions)</li> </ol> </td> <td width="309"> Five or more of the following symptoms present during the same two-week period: <ol> <li>Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day</li> <li>Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all or almost all activities</li> <li>Significant unintended weight loss or change in appetite</li> <li>Insomnia or hypersomnia</li> <li>Being physically agitated or listless</li> <li>Fatigue or loss of energy</li> <li>Feelings of worthlessness or excessive/inappropriate guilt</li> <li>Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness</li> <li>Recurrent thoughts of death, recurrent suicidal ideation, a suicide attempt, or a plan for suicide</li> </ol>   At least one of the symptoms is either depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure. </td> </tr> </tbody> </table>   <table width="628"> <tbody> <tr> <td width="628">Generalized Anxiety Disorder</td> </tr> <tr> <td width="628"> <ol> <li>Excessive anxiety or worry, occurring more days than not for at least six months, about a number of events or activities</li> <li>Difficulty controlling the worry</li> <li>The anxiety or worry is associated with at least three of the following symptoms: <ol> <li>Restlessness or feeling on edge</li> <li>Being easily fatigued</li> <li>Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank</li> <li>Irritability</li> <li>Muscle tension</li> <li>Sleep disturbance</li> </ol> </li> </ol> </td> </tr> </tbody> </table>   <table width="628"> <tbody> <tr> <td colspan="2" width="628">Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder</td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" width="628">This disorder is characterized by the presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both. The obsessions or compulsions are time consuming (i.e., take more than one hour per day) or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.</td> </tr> <tr> <td width="319"> Obsessions: <ol> <li>Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced  as intrusive and unwanted and, in most individuals, cause marked anxiety or distress</li> <li>The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion)</li> </ol> </td> <td width="309"> Compulsions: <ol> <li>Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, silently repeating words) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly</li> <li>The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, they are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive</li> </ol> </td> </tr> </tbody> </table>   <table width="628"> <tbody> <tr> <td width="628">Borderline Personality Disorder</td> </tr> <tr> <td width="628"> BPD is characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five or more of the following symptoms: <ol> <li>Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment</li> <li>A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation</li> <li>Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self</li> <li>Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)</li> <li>Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior</li> <li>Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)</li> <li>Chronic feelings of emptiness</li> <li>Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger</li> <li>Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms</li> </ol> </td> </tr> </tbody> </table>   You can hear more about PHD and many other topics by listening to my podcast, <a href= "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/selfwork-dr.-margaret-rutherford/id1166015598?mt=2">SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford</a>. Subscribe to <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/">my website</a> and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click <a href= "https://facebook.com/groups/SelfWork">here</a> and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order <a href= "http://perfectlyhiddendepression.com/">here!</a> Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! <iframe src= "https://www.speakpipe.com/widget/inline/o7tgkiimlqfx0v6hek7fqlpidb0i03r8" width="100%" height="200" frameborder="0"></iframe>

There are certain diagnoses that may be co-occurring with perfectly hidden depression (PHD) or could be confused with PHD. And the last thing I want is for anyone to label themselves PHD or identify with PHD and stop there – when instead, you may need to recognize that you're experiencing another type of psychological issue that warrants understanding and even treatment. Those diagnoses are Bipolar II disorder, Obsessive Compulsive disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. We'll talk today about what traits PHD and these other disorders have in common and what makes them distinct from one another. The listener email for the week comments on my habit of including research and ideas from other people on SelfWork -- and I respond about the "why" of that choice on my part. Important Links: The INFJ personality category or the Myers-Briggs Don't Panic by Reid Wilson Understanding the Borderline Mother by Christine Lawson Bipolar II Disorder Meets criteria for a current or past hypomanic episode And meets criteria for a current or past depressive episode: A distinct period of abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood and abnormally and persistently increased activity or energy, lasting at least four consecutive days and present most of the day, nearly every day, and including at least three of the following symptoms: Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity Decreased need for sleep More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking Flight of ideas or subjective experience of racing thoughts Distractibility Increase in goal-directed activity (socially, at work or school, or sexually) or physical agitation. Excessive involvement in activities with high potential for painful consequences (e.g., buying sprees, foolish investments, sexual indiscretions) Five or more of the following symptoms present during the same two-week period: Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all or almost all activities Significant unintended weight loss or change in appetite Insomnia or hypersomnia Being physically agitated or listless Fatigue or loss of energy Feelings of worthlessness or excessive/inappropriate guilt Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness Recurrent thoughts of death, recurrent suicidal ideation, a suicide attempt, or a plan for suicide   At least one of the symptoms is either depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure.   Generalized Anxiety Disorder Excessive anxiety or worry, occurring more days than not for at least six months, about a number of events or activities Difficulty controlling the worry The anxiety or worry is associated with at least three of the following symptoms: Restlessness or feeling on edge Being easily fatigued Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank Irritability Muscle tension Sleep disturbance   Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder This disorder is characterized by the presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both. The obsessions or compulsions are time consuming (i.e., take more than one hour per day) or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. Obsessions: Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced  as intrusive and unwanted and, in most individuals, cause marked anxiety or distress The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion) Compulsions: Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, silently repeating words) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, they are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive   Borderline Personality Disorder BPD is characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five or more of the following symptoms: Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating) Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days) Chronic feelings of emptiness Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms   You can hear more about PHD and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! 

167 SelfWork: Is It OCD, GAD, Bipolar, BPD or Perfectly Hidden Depression (PHD)?

Valentines can hold as much angst for people as the holiday season. And if you have conflict or estrangement or alienation within your relationship, then that pain can become more distinct. Today we’re going to focus on what can cause these kinds of problems. But as usual, we’re also focusing on “what you can do about it.” I’ll use a couples therapy case from my own practice that shows that even though a problem may seem insurmountable, and like the relationship is over, there are four attitudes and actions that can help you find your way back to each other – and even to love. Our listener email today is a very poignant one from a young man whose relationship with his mom was rocky due to her being abusive. But now she’s died of a second bout with cancer. And he finds himself pushing away others who love him, except for his two year-old child. He wants to understand his actions, and I’ll do my best to answer his question. Important Links: Podcast on <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/019-selfwork-narcissism-and-how-to-cope-with-it/"> handling narcissism</a> in relationships Podcast on <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/086-selfwork-when-you-can-never-be-enough-loving-someone-with-bpd-borderline-personality-disorder/"> loving someone with borderline</a> personality disorder You can hear more relationship advice and many other topics by listening to my podcast, <a href= "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/selfwork-dr.-margaret-rutherford/id1166015598?mt=2">SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford</a>. Subscribe to <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/">my website</a> and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click <a href= "https://facebook.com/groups/SelfWork">here</a> and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order <a href= "http://perfectlyhiddendepression.com/">here!</a> Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! <iframe src= "https://www.speakpipe.com/widget/inline/o7tgkiimlqfx0v6hek7fqlpidb0i03r8" width="100%" height="200" frameborder="0"></iframe>

Valentines can hold as much angst for people as the holiday season. And if you have conflict or estrangement or alienation within your relationship, then that pain can become more distinct. Today we’re going to focus on what can cause these kinds of problems. But as usual, we’re also focusing on “what you can do about it.” I’ll use a couples therapy case from my own practice that shows that even though a problem may seem insurmountable, and like the relationship is over, there are four attitudes and actions that can help you find your way back to each other – and even to love. Our listener email today is a very poignant one from a young man whose relationship with his mom was rocky due to her being abusive. But now she’s died of a second bout with cancer. And he finds himself pushing away others who love him, except for his two year-old child. He wants to understand his actions, and I’ll do my best to answer his question. Important Links: Podcast on handling narcissism in relationships Podcast on loving someone with borderline personality disorder You can hear more relationship advice and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!          

166 SelfWork: Finding Your Way Back to Love

Kobe Bryant's family is only one of the many families who have to face an extremely harsh tragedy - the traumatic death of someone they love. There is a difference in this kind of grief because it's traumatic in the most pure sense. One second your world was safe, known and secure. And the next, it was not -- due to an extremely dramatic and out-of-the-ordinary experience that induces grief, disbelief, shock, fear, panic, or terror. There's not anything you can do about the loss. But there is something you can do, as well as things that are definitely not helpful. So we'll talk about it today on SelfWork. The listener email is from someone who asked how she could ever rid herself of a shame she has carried “from birth.” I didn’t understand so reached out to her for more explanation. Her answer as fascinating to me because after her explanation, it was clear to see that the shame didn’t belong to her at all. Important Links: A very moving article on the "seven others on board" as <a href= "https://snappshots.com/2020/01/28/the-seven-others/?fbclid=IwAR2KG-fFUHNl-eKx7kteCEl3ghQbK6ZE5e4NYqZyczEGA4-rWEIpd2Hlz9Y"> people began writing about their lives, as well as their loved ones whose lives have been shattered.</a> <a href= "https://www.cnn.com/2014/04/02/health/sudden-loss-grief/index.html"> CNN writer Pat Etheridge's article on how sudden death involves trauma</a> Definition of trauma by <a href= "https://www.apa.org/topics/trauma/">the APA</a> A wonderful book: “<a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Dance-Anger-Changing-Patterns-Relationships/dp/0062319043">The Dance of Anger</a>” by Harriet Lerner Another helpful read:  <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming/dp/0553381407">Toxic Parents</a> You can hear more about trauma and many other topics by listening to my podcast, <a href= "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/selfwork-dr.-margaret-rutherford/id1166015598?mt=2">SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford</a>. Subscribe to <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/">my website</a> and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click <a href= "https://facebook.com/groups/SelfWork">here</a> and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order <a href= "http://perfectlyhiddendepression.com/">here!</a> Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! <iframe src= "https://www.speakpipe.com/widget/inline/o7tgkiimlqfx0v6hek7fqlpidb0i03r8" width="100%" height="200" frameborder="0"></iframe>

Kobe Bryant's family is only one of the many families who have to face an extremely harsh tragedy - the traumatic death of someone they love. There is a difference in this kind of grief because it's traumatic in the most pure sense. One second your world was safe, known and secure. And the next, it was not -- due to an extremely dramatic and out-of-the-ordinary experience that induces grief, disbelief, shock, fear, panic, or terror. There's not anything you can do about the loss. But there is something you can do, as well as things that are definitely not helpful. So we'll talk about it today on SelfWork. The listener email is from someone who asked how she could ever rid herself of a shame she has carried “from birth.” I didn’t understand so reached out to her for more explanation. Her answer as fascinating to me because after her explanation, it was clear to see that the shame didn’t belong to her at all. Important Links: A very moving article on the "seven others on board" as people began writing about their lives, as well as their loved ones whose lives have been shattered. CNN writer Pat Etheridge's article on how sudden death involves trauma Definition of trauma by the APA A wonderful book: “The Dance of Anger” by Harriet Lerner Another helpful read:  Toxic Parents You can hear more about trauma and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!    

165 SelfWork: The Deep Mourning of Sudden Death: When Time Will Not Stop

I’ve had several people write to me lately and explain that they are just pulling out of a slump or even worse, clinical depression. And they’re scared. Is there a time frame for what’s supposed to happen after a major depression has struck? How do you deal with some of the destructive choices you may have made when you were depressed? We’ll talk today about the factors that are important … and how to work with and manage your insecurity and fear of your depression returning. There's a lot of hope in new treatments that psychiatrists are prescribing for treatment resistant depression. We’ll touch on two of them --  Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) and ketamine infusions -- both now being used to treat recurrent depression, cyclic disorders and recurrent suicidal ideation, and often meeting with good success. The listener email is from someone who calls herself a “social chameleon," which is the tendency to mimic the behaviors and actions of others while in their presence. Its traditional definition states that this tendency is intentional, but in her case, it seems quite unintentional or even unconscious. It's a fascinating topic and one that I was eager to explore, and it led to a discussion on boundaries. Important Links: Symptoms of Major Depression given by <a href= "https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20356007">The Mayo Clinic</a>. Quote from <a href= "https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Noonday-Demon-Audiobook/B0085WEHUE?ds_rl=1262685&ds_rl=1263561&ds_rl=1260658&source_code=GO1GB907OSH060513&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIs8avtd2f5wIVB7zACh1WpQoIEAAYASAAEgI9C_D_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds"> The Noonday Demon: At Atlas of Depression. by Andrew Solomon</a> <a href= "https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/psychiatry/specialty_areas/brain_stimulation/tms/"> Johns Hopkins’ website</a> describes the TMS procedure <a href= "https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/ketamine-for-major-depression-new-tool-new-questions-2019052216673"> Harvard article </a>on ketamine infusions <a href= "https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201704/are-you-social-chameleon-or-zebra"> Psychology Today by Dr. Ronald Riggio</a> in which he describes being a social chameleon or being a  “high self-monitor”. <a href= "https://medium.com/@marlenamariabontas/the-top-5-must-read-book-on-how-to-set-boundaries-11fee3b3a027"> Recent article on the “best” books on boundary setting.</a> You can hear more about depression and many other topics by listening to my podcast, <a href= "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/selfwork-dr.-margaret-rutherford/id1166015598?mt=2">SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford</a>. Subscribe to <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/">my website</a> and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click <a href= "https://facebook.com/groups/SelfWork">here</a> and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order <a href= "http://perfectlyhiddendepression.com/">here!</a> Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! <iframe src= "https://www.speakpipe.com/widget/inline/o7tgkiimlqfx0v6hek7fqlpidb0i03r8" width="100%" height="200" frameborder="0"></iframe>

I’ve had several people write to me lately and explain that they are just pulling out of a slump or even worse, clinical depression. And they’re scared. Is there a time frame for what’s supposed to happen after a major depression has struck? How do you deal with some of the destructive choices you may have made when you were depressed? We’ll talk today about the factors that are important … and how to work with and manage your insecurity and fear of your depression returning. There's a lot of hope in new treatments that psychiatrists are prescribing for treatment resistant depression. We’ll touch on two of them --  Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) and ketamine infusions -- both now being used to treat recurrent depression, cyclic disorders and recurrent suicidal ideation, and often meeting with good success. The listener email is from someone who calls herself a “social chameleon," which is the tendency to mimic the behaviors and actions of others while in their presence. Its traditional definition states that this tendency is intentional, but in her case, it seems quite unintentional or even unconscious. It's a fascinating topic and one that I was eager to explore, and it led to a discussion on boundaries. Important Links: Symptoms of Major Depression given by The Mayo Clinic. Quote from The Noonday Demon: At Atlas of Depression. by Andrew Solomon Johns Hopkins’ website describes the TMS procedure Harvard article on ketamine infusions Psychology Today by Dr. Ronald Riggio in which he describes being a social chameleon or being a  “high self-monitor”. Recent article on the “best” books on boundary setting. You can hear more about depression and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! 

164 SelfWork: Coping with the Fear of Depression's Return

In today’s SelfWork, we’re going to be talking about how to enrich your emotional life through self-compassion. So many people tell me that they don’t know how to begin to risk feelings that have been suppressed for years.But when you do, you expand the emotions available to you, and enrich your own emotional life. I gave some basics in <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/102-selfwork-how-do-you-feel-your-feelings/">Episode 102</a> – so there are other ideas there as well. Today, i offer one simple exercise or visualization for you to try that might open an emotional door for you. There’s always the caveat when I’m talking about reaching out to deeper feelings.That caveat is that trauma work – risking feeling emotions that are a result of trauma or abuse – often needs to be done with a trauma expert. You can get overwhelmed or even dissociate if by yourself. So please assess the risk carefully. The listener email is from someone who’s angry that a loved one attempted suicide, although there is also great compassion. She’s confused and afraid she doesn’t have the right to be angry. Important Links: Dr. Foojan Zeine (<a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j728j4CmtXQ&feature=youtu.be">Link to see our interview on YouTube</a>), Dr. Kristin Neff's book <a href= "https://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Compassion-Audiobook/B005P1FJVE?source_code=GPAGBSH0508140001&ipRedirectOverride=true&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI4pTSsuSZ5wIVA__jBx2P9gugEAQYAiABEgKtefD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds"> Self-Compassion</a>   You can hear more about emotional growth and many other topics by listening to my podcast, <a href= "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/selfwork-dr.-margaret-rutherford/id1166015598?mt=2">SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford</a>. Subscribe to <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/">my website</a> and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click <a href= "https://facebook.com/groups/SelfWork">here</a> and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order <a href= "http://perfectlyhiddendepression.com/">here!</a> Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! <iframe src= "https://www.speakpipe.com/widget/inline/o7tgkiimlqfx0v6hek7fqlpidb0i03r8" width="100%" height="200" frameborder="0"></iframe>               .

In today’s SelfWork, we’re going to be talking about how to enrich your emotional life through self-compassion. So many people tell me that they don’t know how to begin to risk feelings that have been suppressed for years.But when you do, you expand the emotions available to you, and enrich your own emotional life. I gave some basics in Episode 102 – so there are other ideas there as well. Today, i offer one simple exercise or visualization for you to try that might open an emotional door for you. There’s always the caveat when I’m talking about reaching out to deeper feelings.That caveat is that trauma work – risking feeling emotions that are a result of trauma or abuse – often needs to be done with a trauma expert. You can get overwhelmed or even dissociate if by yourself. So please assess the risk carefully. The listener email is from someone who’s angry that a loved one attempted suicide, although there is also great compassion. She’s confused and afraid she doesn’t have the right to be angry. Important Links: Dr. Foojan Zeine (Link to see our interview on YouTube), Dr. Kristin Neff's book Self-Compassion   You can hear more about emotional growth and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!               .                                

163 SelfWork: Emotional Growth: An Exercise in Self-Compassion

Today we’re talking about the difference between narcissism and healthy narcissism. There are big differences and since the word "narcissistic" is being thrown around so much these days, I thought I’d do my part to keep things clear. I’m quoting three experts -- Dr. Dale Archer, Bob Taibbi, and Dr. Craig Malkin – all who have fascinating takes on the subject. I'd definitely recommend giving the links below a click to read more. You can also listen to three SelfWork episodes on narcissism and how I see it played out:  Episode<a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/019-selfwork-narcissism-and-how-to-cope-with-it/"> 019</a> on how to cope with it in a relationship, <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/122-selfwork-whats-love-got-to-do-with-it-love-addiction-and-narcissism/"> Episode 122</a> on its relationship with love addiction, and <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/127-selfwork-the-two-masked-marks-of-manipulation-aka-stonewalling-and-gaslighting/"> Episode 127,</a> dealing with two of the main manipulative techniques used -- gaslighting and stonewalling. The listener email is from a mom who’s overshared with her oldest daughter about her father’s financial issues and now regrets her actions. This kind of what's termed "enmeshment" in families happens often, when one parent or even both pull a child into a pseudo-adult role in relationship with them, without realizing the damage. Important Links: Diagnostic criteria for <a href= "https://psychcentral.com/disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder/"> Narcissistic Personality Disorder.</a> Dr. Dale Archer's <a href= "https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/reading-between-the-headlines/201702/remembering-jodi-arias-poster-girl-narcissism"> full article on Jody Arias</a> and his book <a href= "https://www.audible.com/pd/Better-Than-Normal-Audiobook/B007EJ87XW?source_code=GPAGBSH0508140001&ipRedirectOverride=true&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIitOF5_Xs5gIViLzACh00qANpEAQYAiABEgL2qvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds">Better Than Normal: How What Makes You Different Can Make You Exceptional</a> Bob Taibbi's <a href= "https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/201901/healthy-narcissism"> article on healthy narcissism in  Psychology Today</a> and his book– <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Brief-Therapy-Couples-Families-Crisis/dp/0415787815/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=bob+taibbi&qid=1578242988&sr=8-4"> Brief Therapy with Couples in Crisis</a> <a href= "https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/romance-redux/201306/5-early-warning-signs-youre-narcissist"> Dr. Craig Malkin's article  in Psychology Today</a> on the more subtle signs of narcissism and his book <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Rethinking-Narcissism-Secret-Recognizing-Narcissists/dp/0062348116"> Rethinking Narcissism</a> A helpful <a href= "https://www.asexuality.org/?q=overview.html">link on asexuality: </a> You can hear more about narcissism and many other topics by listening to my podcast, <a href= "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/selfwork-dr.-margaret-rutherford/id1166015598?mt=2">SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford</a>. Subscribe to <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/">my website</a> and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click <a href= "https://facebook.com/groups/SelfWork">here</a> and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order <a href= "http://perfectlyhiddendepression.com/">here!</a> Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! <iframe src= "https://www.speakpipe.com/widget/inline/o7tgkiimlqfx0v6hek7fqlpidb0i03r8" width="100%" height="200" frameborder="0"></iframe>

Today we’re talking about the difference between narcissism and healthy narcissism. There are big differences and since the word "narcissistic" is being thrown around so much these days, I thought I’d do my part to keep things clear. I’m quoting three experts -- Dr. Dale Archer, Bob Taibbi, and Dr. Craig Malkin – all who have fascinating takes on the subject. I'd definitely recommend giving the links below a click to read more. You can also listen to three SelfWork episodes on narcissism and how I see it played out:  Episode 019 on how to cope with it in a relationship, Episode 122 on its relationship with love addiction, and Episode 127, dealing with two of the main manipulative techniques used -- gaslighting and stonewalling. The listener email is from a mom who’s overshared with her oldest daughter about her father’s financial issues and now regrets her actions. This kind of what's termed "enmeshment" in families happens often, when one parent or even both pull a child into a pseudo-adult role in relationship with them, without realizing the damage. Important Links: Diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Dr. Dale Archer's full article on Jody Arias and his book Better Than Normal: How What Makes You Different Can Make You Exceptional Bob Taibbi's article on healthy narcissism in  Psychology Today and his book– Brief Therapy with Couples in Crisis Dr. Craig Malkin's article  in Psychology Today on the more subtle signs of narcissism and his book Rethinking Narcissism A helpful link on asexuality:  You can hear more about narcissism and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!    

162 SelfWork: Is Healthy Narcissism Real?

What happens in therapy that can be helpful? How does it work? These are basic questions that were brought to my attention during my recent interview with Lewis Howes on his podcast The School of Greatness. He and his team bring what they consider “great” ideas and ways of being to his listeners. And I was honored to be there. If you're interested in listening to his podcast, here it is! You can click here:  <a href= "https://lewishowes.com/podcast/upgrade-your-mental-health-with-dr-margaret-rutherford/">LewisHowes.com. Upgrade Your Mental Health with Dr. Margaret Rutherford Ep 895.</a> I was intrigued with some of his questions. I sometimes forget that there are many people who don’t have a concept of what therapy is even like or what it’s purpose is. His questions grounded me in the reality most people have – that they’ve never tried therapy and don’t quite understand it. His questions dealt with shame, common reasons for seeking therapy, how I might define mental illness and are we all mentally ill, and how to recognize depression, especially if you’re a perfectionist or have trouble with denial. I figured if he wanted my answers to these questions, so might you. Our listener email today is a from therapist who listened to that very interview and had a question about my mention of pseudoseizures – a disorder I did my dissertation on years ago -- as well as any thoughts I had on a case she was presenting. You can hear more about therapy and many other topics by listening to my podcast, <a href= "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/selfwork-dr.-margaret-rutherford/id1166015598?mt=2">SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford</a>. Subscribe to <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/">my website</a> and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click <a href= "https://facebook.com/groups/SelfWork">here</a> and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order <a href= "http://perfectlyhiddendepression.com/">here!</a> Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! <iframe src= "https://www.speakpipe.com/widget/inline/o7tgkiimlqfx0v6hek7fqlpidb0i03r8" width="100%" height="200" frameborder="0"></iframe>

What happens in therapy that can be helpful? How does it work? These are basic questions that were brought to my attention during my recent interview with Lewis Howes on his podcast The School of Greatness. He and his team bring what they consider “great” ideas and ways of being to his listeners. And I was honored to be there. If you're interested in listening to his podcast, here it is! You can click here:  LewisHowes.com. Upgrade Your Mental Health with Dr. Margaret Rutherford Ep 895. I was intrigued with some of his questions. I sometimes forget that there are many people who don’t have a concept of what therapy is even like or what it’s purpose is. His questions grounded me in the reality most people have – that they’ve never tried therapy and don’t quite understand it. His questions dealt with shame, common reasons for seeking therapy, how I might define mental illness and are we all mentally ill, and how to recognize depression, especially if you’re a perfectionist or have trouble with denial. I figured if he wanted my answers to these questions, so might you. Our listener email today is a from therapist who listened to that very interview and had a question about my mention of pseudoseizures – a disorder I did my dissertation on years ago -- as well as any thoughts I had on a case she was presenting. You can hear more about therapy and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!    

161 SelfWork: How Does Therapy Work?

Welcome to 2020 and more SelfWork! First, thank you to everyone who’s purchased Perfectly Hidden Depression and left reviews. Those show up on Amazon as a verified purchase and are extremely important offering even more validity. So if you’ve been reading PHD, and when you’re done, two sentences on what you experienced would be extremely gratifying. Today we’re talking about the lack of sexual intimacy that so many couples are experiencing; in fact, research shows that  15 to 20% of committed relationships or marriages had become rarely if ever sexual. We’ll touch on ten of the most common reasons I've seen; some are probably familiar, some may be painful to hear, but some may surprise you. The listener email today is from a man who’s befriended someone with chronic abuse in her past (with a diagnosis of C-PTSD) and asked me for advice on how he can help. Important links: In the US, <a href= "https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline">the sexual abuse hotline number</a> for the US Dr. Pat Love's <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Hot-Monogamy-Passionate-Lovemaking-2012-06-06/dp/B01N07LKML/ref=pd_sbs_14_t_0/131-8778676-9557725?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B01N07LKML&pd_rd_r=88d6ee44-7067-4a39-bf02-5767ec92bb16&pd_rd_w=hFfkT&pd_rd_wg=otD01&pf_rd_p=5cfcfe89-300f-47d2-b1ad-a4e27203a02a&pf_rd_r=1ETKCWYKDQFQ2Q2C2WWM&psc=1&refRID=1ETKCWYKDQFQ2Q2C2WWM"> Hot Monogamy</a> Research study on <a href= "https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/experimentations/201803/4-ways-porn-use-causes-problems">pornography addiction</a> <a href= "https://www.huffpost.com/entry/common-reasons-sexless-marriage_l_5cc0af7be4b01b6b3efbf30e"> HuffPost article on the sexless marriage</a> You can hear more about relationships and many other topics by listening to my podcast, <a href= "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/selfwork-dr.-margaret-rutherford/id1166015598?mt=2">SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford</a>. Subscribe to <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/">my website</a> and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click <a href= "https://facebook.com/groups/SelfWork">here</a> and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order <a href= "http://perfectlyhiddendepression.com/">here!</a> Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! <iframe src= "https://www.speakpipe.com/widget/inline/o7tgkiimlqfx0v6hek7fqlpidb0i03r8" width="100%" height="200" frameborder="0"></iframe>

Welcome to 2020 and more SelfWork! First, thank you to everyone who’s purchased Perfectly Hidden Depression and left reviews. Those show up on Amazon as a verified purchase and are extremely important offering even more validity. So if you’ve been reading PHD, and when you’re done, two sentences on what you experienced would be extremely gratifying. Today we’re talking about the lack of sexual intimacy that so many couples are experiencing; in fact, research shows that  15 to 20% of committed relationships or marriages had become rarely if ever sexual. We’ll touch on ten of the most common reasons I've seen; some are probably familiar, some may be painful to hear, but some may surprise you. The listener email today is from a man who’s befriended someone with chronic abuse in her past (with a diagnosis of C-PTSD) and asked me for advice on how he can help. Important links: In the US, the sexual abuse hotline number for the US Dr. Pat Love's Hot Monogamy Research study on pornography addiction HuffPost article on the sexless marriage You can hear more about relationships and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!          

SelfWork 160: The Sexless Marriage. Is There A Way Back?

Coping with rejection in a relationship, whether it be a friendship or partnership or a marriage, can be very difficult. But to add to the hurt, you can also learn that your ex has moved on quickly -- or perhaps had moved on while still in a relationship with you. And that can lead to a feeling of being replaced. We'll talk about the feelings and thoughts this can create -- and something that can help you move through this grieving process.  It's called redefinition or reinterpretation -- and although it takes time to heal, this idea will help you move through feeling rejected into a better and more healthy life. Our listener email is from someone from Sweden who used the SpeakPipe opportunity to tell me of her interest in perfectly hidden depression or PHD and its potential place with spiritual problems..I give her my thoughts.. You can hear more about relationships and many other topics by listening to my podcast, <a href= "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/selfwork-dr.-margaret-rutherford/id1166015598?mt=2">SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford</a>. Subscribe to <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/">my website</a> and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click <a href= "https://facebook.com/groups/SelfWork">here</a> and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order <a href= "http://perfectlyhiddendepression.com/">here!</a> Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! <iframe src= "https://www.speakpipe.com/widget/inline/o7tgkiimlqfx0v6hek7fqlpidb0i03r8" width="100%" height="200" frameborder="0"></iframe>

Coping with rejection in a relationship, whether it be a friendship or partnership or a marriage, can be very difficult. But to add to the hurt, you can also learn that your ex has moved on quickly -- or perhaps had moved on while still in a relationship with you. And that can lead to a feeling of being replaced. We'll talk about the feelings and thoughts this can create -- and something that can help you move through this grieving process.  It's called redefinition or reinterpretation -- and although it takes time to heal, this idea will help you move through feeling rejected into a better and more healthy life. Our listener email is from someone from Sweden who used the SpeakPipe opportunity to tell me of her interest in perfectly hidden depression or PHD and its potential place with spiritual problems..I give her my thoughts.. You can hear more about relationships and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!  

SelfWork 159: When It's Over -- Healing Rejection and Replacement

I see so many people who are living out their partnerships or marriages passing like ships in the night. And it’s very lonely. You may or may not recognize that apathy has snuck into your relationship, as you go about living parallel lives.  Most of these couples are conflict-avoidant and the distance that they feel between them is played out covertly, not openly. But they may look "fine" to the world since there's little to no arguing and most pragmatic things in the relationship are tended to and watched after. We’ll touch on this dynamic and then, of course, "what you can do about it," as I describe a method of trying to reestablish a sense of partnership and trust. Trigger warning: The listener email for today is from someone who has a compulsion to carry a defensive weapon that could end endangering her job – and asks what she can do about it. If you've had violence or abuse in your history, this discussion may be triggering for you. So please listen with care. Important Links: As promised, the <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/008-selfwork-learning-the-true-skills-of-listening/"> early SelfWork episode</a> on the I to I technique and learning the skills of good listening. You can hear more about relationships and many other topics by listening to my podcast, <a href= "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/selfwork-dr.-margaret-rutherford/id1166015598?mt=2">SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford</a>. Subscribe to <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/">my website</a> and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click <a href= "https://facebook.com/groups/SelfWork">here</a> and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order <a href= "http://perfectlyhiddendepression.com/">here!</a> Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! <iframe src= "https://www.speakpipe.com/widget/inline/o7tgkiimlqfx0v6hek7fqlpidb0i03r8" width="100%" height="200" frameborder="0"></iframe>

I see so many people who are living out their partnerships or marriages passing like ships in the night. And it’s very lonely. You may or may not recognize that apathy has snuck into your relationship, as you go about living parallel lives.  Most of these couples are conflict-avoidant and the distance that they feel between them is played out covertly, not openly. But they may look "fine" to the world since there's little to no arguing and most pragmatic things in the relationship are tended to and watched after. We’ll touch on this dynamic and then, of course, "what you can do about it," as I describe a method of trying to reestablish a sense of partnership and trust. Trigger warning: The listener email for today is from someone who has a compulsion to carry a defensive weapon that could end endangering her job – and asks what she can do about it. If you've had violence or abuse in your history, this discussion may be triggering for you. So please listen with care. Important Links: As promised, the early SelfWork episode on the I to I technique and learning the skills of good listening. You can hear more about relationships and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!  

When Love Isn't the Problem, Apathy Is. The Pain of Living Parallel Lives (SelfWork #158)

Depression, anxiety, and emotional paralysis can go hand in hand. But today we're talking today about fear – plain old unadulterated fear. But not fear about uncomfortable or destructive things. We're talking about fear of positive change the keeps you stuck in behaviors that are a problem for you.  What are those potential fears? There are five that we'll discuss in this week's episode of The SelfWork Podcast. <ul> <li>A fear of the loss of stability or what's known</li> <li>fear of emotional vulnerability</li> <li>fear of ambiguity or even failure</li> <li>fear of shame that you didn’t change before -- and</li> <li>fear of relationship change</li> </ul> Each one of these fears can prevent you from visualizing yourself being able to change in a direction that feels good and positive to you and can cause a real emotional paralysis. But we'll also talk about what you can do about it and how you can work with these fears. The listener email is from a woman from South Africa who took advantage of the SpeakPipe experience and left me a message about her struggle to want to be with her family as opposed to her spouse. She wants to know, "Is there something wrong with that?" Important Links: A description of family systems theory (centrifugal versus centripetal families) by <a href= "http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1752-0606.1981.tb01382.x/abstract">Dr.W.Robert Beavers</a> Episode <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/062-selfwork-how-to-know-if-youre-too-close-to-your-child-or-your-parent/"> 062 of SelfWork</a> on Enmeshment You can hear more about the aftermath of abuse and many other topics by listening to my podcast, <a href= "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/selfwork-dr.-margaret-rutherford/id1166015598?mt=2">SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford</a>. Subscribe to <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/">my website</a> and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click <a href= "https://facebook.com/groups/SelfWork">here</a> and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order <a href= "http://perfectlyhiddendepression.com/">here!</a> Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! <iframe src= "https://www.speakpipe.com/widget/inline/o7tgkiimlqfx0v6hek7fqlpidb0i03r8" width="100%" height="200" frameborder="0"></iframe>

Depression, anxiety, and emotional paralysis can go hand in hand. But today we're talking today about fear – plain old unadulterated fear. But not fear about uncomfortable or destructive things. We're talking about fear of positive change the keeps you stuck in behaviors that are a problem for you.  What are those potential fears? There are five that we'll discuss in this week's episode of The SelfWork Podcast. A fear of the loss of stability or what's known fear of emotional vulnerability fear of ambiguity or even failure fear of shame that you didn’t change before -- and fear of relationship change Each one of these fears can prevent you from visualizing yourself being able to change in a direction that feels good and positive to you and can cause a real emotional paralysis. But we'll also talk about what you can do about it and how you can work with these fears. The listener email is from a woman from South Africa who took advantage of the SpeakPipe experience and left me a message about her struggle to want to be with her family as opposed to her spouse. She wants to know, "Is there something wrong with that?" Important Links: A description of family systems theory (centrifugal versus centripetal families) by Dr.W.Robert Beavers Episode 062 of SelfWork on Enmeshment You can hear more about the aftermath of abuse and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!          

Emotional Paralysis or When You Fear Change For The Better: SelfWork #157

If you've been sexually abused in any way, it changes the way you live your life. You can heal but it takes work and courage. But what if you're abused, you report or tell someone about it and you're not believed? This aftermath of abuse -- this total negation of what happened -- can feel even worse than the initial trauma. That's what we're focusing on today on SelfWork. If you've been abused, listening may trigger you in some way. So please take care. Ask for help if you need it. The hotline numbers for both the UK and the US can be found in the show notes. The listener email is from a young woman who’s identified with perfectly hidden depression but doesn’t know how to begin to look for a therapist… and how to reveal her hiding. Important links: The Indianapolis Star <a href= "https://www.indystar.com/topic/out-of-balance/">revealed</a> massive exploitation and coverup of sexual abuse in the US Gymnastics program RAINN's statistics: most rapes <a href= "https://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/reporting-rates">never get reported.</a> Other <a href= "http://content.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1863650,00.html">figures are staggering.</a> Andy Woodward's story as he  <a href= "https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/nov/16/andy-woodward">revealed the </a>details of his abuse. Study identifying<a href= "https://1in6.org/family-and-friends/myths/"> several irrational beliefs</a> about male sexual abuse. My own article on becoming <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/the-shame-no-one-talks-about-in-sexual-abuse/">sexually aroused during the abuse</a> <a href= "http://www.nytimes.com/1989/01/24/science/sad-legacy-of-abuse-the-search-for-remedies.html?pagewanted=all"> Studies indicate that 1/3 </a>of abused male children are likely to abuse. In the UK, The Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14. For the RAINN sexual abuse hotline <a href= "https://www.rainn.org/">click here.</a> You can hear more about the aftermath of abuse and many other topics by listening to my podcast, <a href= "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/selfwork-dr.-margaret-rutherford/id1166015598?mt=2">SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford</a>. Subscribe to <a href= "https://drmargaretrutherford.com/">my website</a> and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click <a href= "https://facebook.com/groups/SelfWork">here</a> and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order <a href= "http://perfectlyhiddendepression.com/">here!</a> Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! <iframe src= "https://www.speakpipe.com/widget/inline/o7tgkiimlqfx0v6hek7fqlpidb0i03r8" width="100%" height="200" frameborder="0"></iframe>

If you've been sexually abused in any way, it changes the way you live your life. You can heal but it takes work and courage. But what if you're abused, you report or tell someone about it and you're not believed? This aftermath of abuse -- this total negation of what happened -- can feel even worse than the initial trauma. That's what we're focusing on today on SelfWork. If you've been abused, listening may trigger you in some way. So please take care. Ask for help if you need it. The hotline numbers for both the UK and the US can be found in the show notes. The listener email is from a young woman who’s identified with perfectly hidden depression but doesn’t know how to begin to look for a therapist… and how to reveal her hiding. Important links: The Indianapolis Star revealed massive exploitation and coverup of sexual abuse in the US Gymnastics program RAINN's statistics: most rapes never get reported. Other figures are staggering. Andy Woodward's story as he  revealed the details of his abuse. Study identifying several irrational beliefs about male sexual abuse. My own article on becoming sexually aroused during the abuse Studies indicate that 1/3 of abused male children are likely to abuse. In the UK, The Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14. For the RAINN sexual abuse hotline click here. You can hear more about the aftermath of abuse and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!        

When You're Not Believed: The Aftermath of Sexual Abuse SelfWork #156

Welcome to SelfWork! Do you have things in your life you want to change, but you struggle to believe you can? Dr. Margaret has a direct, down-to-earth approach to therapy and treatment, and uses her twenty years of experience to guide you in making the changes you want. No psychological jargon here! Rather, she uses a solution-oriented approach to depression, anxiety, trauma or grief - what Dr. Margaret calls, "What you can do about it." Subscribe today!

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